Madre Minutes

Blissdom12 One Night Giveaway

2012-01-25T17:49:00.002-06:00

My Hearts Desire

2012-01-05T21:38:00.001-06:00

As Christmas decorations are coming down I am trying to keep a few things around that are wintery. Which slows the process of getting all of the decorations out at the same time. So it sort of lingers a little longer. I caught myself holding onto memories even if they are memories from a week ago when everyone was here and we were all together. Can I recapture that feeling by allowing the decorations to linger longer.....ummm I think not.
What I can do
is relive the pleasure I had decorating in the anticipation of our gathering which puts a smile on my face. I love "futzing" around as my mother would say and tinkering with my house making it feel warm and welcoming. Checking beds, lights, plants, arrangements, linens, bathrooms, and just every day stuff. It must take me to a place of hopeful anticipation. Thanking God as I work alongside Him preparing the day, putting my hearts desires out there in prayer for Him to do it all over again one day soon. Putting my hearts desires into His hands through prayer.
I did that a few years ago when I found out I have another sister (calling her my CA sister) by the same father. I tried everything I could with the information I had to find her. Then when 9/11 hit I had a sense of urgency and even hired a private investigator with little success. I know I have blogged about this but wanted to go into more of how God has not and did not forget my hearts desire to find her. Though I had little success before, He is now allowing His hearts desire with His perfect timing and orchestrating of all the events leading up to our meeting. To confirm it was through Him, to confirm in me He did not forget, to confirm many things so that I would not doubt, to confirm in me more of Him and less of me. I have come to find out she and I and my older sister (sharing the same mother, my TN sister) that we all have ties to Haiti. Me, through Heart of Haiti being an Ambassador through Macy's. My CA sister through Apparent Project working with artists there helping them sell their wares, build relationships, mentor programs and encourage the people. And my TN sister who helps gather backpacks and supplies for a school there as well as a portion of our small company, Slumby.com, goes to help those in Haiti. Why God has us all involved with things in Haiti I am not sure of.
What I am sure of is
For such a time as this He has us in the palm of His hands and has brought us together by serving others in the same place. Now I don't know about you but that is just not a coincidence. More like divine appointment if you ask me.
Only God could have orchestrated my hearts desire in such a perfect way.
There is no way on earth any of us could have done what He apparently has done through us, with us, and all around us. He wants to let us know our meeting is not by chance, it is not happenstance and that He never forgot my request to Him to find her. Not for any reason but to let her know I/we exist. Wasn't looking to pry or point fingers or wallow in any shame just hoping for a glimpse of His glory through the experience. We have discovered we both have had many of the same issues of rejection and feelings of abandonment, but God has prevailed even still. He never dropped the ball or went to sleep masterminding His eternal plan for us to all meet. Walking through breast cancer is a serious thing and with the same blood running through her veins it is important for her to know what is going on with me so she can be careful. So had another sense of urgency to find her again. This time it would be easier as social media was not readily available like it is now. God knew that ahead of time and now graces me with such a gift. He is a giving God. He loves us intimately honoring our requests even when they seem farfetched, and even when we may not get an answer right away. No thought, prayer or wish gone unforgotten by Him. He is always keeping a watch for what is best for us, when it is best for us, knowing fully how to give what is best for us at the best possible time. His.
So I get to meet her for the first time this Sat. in Austin and she will come back to my house and stay with me for two days. She will also be on my show Madre Minutes, Monday morning, 8:30am CST, on MomTV.com to talk about what she is doing in Haiti and also to encourage others with our story. I will document the entire time she is here in hopes to share our story with more people who might be discouraged about finding family, or discouraged in finding out more about how God works in our lives so carefully, so specifically and so generously. I will share with her photographs, videos and anything I can that might help her in her processing of all this. We both have come to a place of forgiveness which is key. My hope is this meeting will be the start of generations to come of healing and restoration. Where no blame is put on what has been done and more emphasis is valued on what He is doing right now for eternity. Where a persons hearts desire is validated in a single hug, a single text, a single Facebook message or phone call. He designed the format and template for us to cross paths giving me, answering and anchoring my heart to Him letting me know I am loved by Him.
Thank you God for lingering still in my hearts desires.

Happy New YOU Year!

2012-01-01T11:32:00.000-06:00

photograph taken by Jessica Lorren Photography

I am starting another series I am calling Happy New YOU Year. Often times we make resolutions we can not keep which makes us not happy. We promise things we really can not and sometimes even know ahead of time we can not keep them, which again makes us not happy. And too many times we start a New Year off not so happy, so decide nothing will change, so resolve just to stay that way......not happy. I will admit it is a hard time of the year for many people and not discounting that at all.
This year I want to focus on Joy. Not just a happy joy, buy a deep rooted sense of joy that can only come from our Father. In my opinion happiness is a temporal and exterior emotion that is fleeting. Joy comes from within with an endless supply line straight to the Father. To learn what "His joy will be my strength" really is like and how do I apply that to my life? A Joy that even in disappointments will rise up covering all hurts and anxiousness. The Joy that surpasses all understanding where the only thing left to do is laugh. We are all just a bunch of walking wounded trying to find the combination for happiness, right? Without sounding to cliche' joy starts with JesUS. Jesus + US. Many sites and well known scholars teach that happiness, joy and contentment starts with US, but without the JES in front of that word, is like the JO without the Y. In order for there to be more of it in our world people need to see it in my life. If I don't have it in the first place then all I have to ask for it denying self rule establishing heavenly reign allowing Joy, in and through my life. To think that I could be, am and want to be a vessel for His Joy excites me for what He will accomplish. That He would consider me as His ambassador, His messenger, His catalyst, His seed of potential and accomplice to achieve His goal. JOY! When I am in the "midst of thee", His direction puts me on the road that leads to Joy. He is not only about Joy, He is Joy. Joy makes up the very fabric and character of His being. Now, who would not want that, and why so much resistance to His presence and Joy?
So I am on the hunt for Joy. I will keep a watchful eye grabbing onto Joy whenever I can. I had a UPS man tell me once, "You always seem to have a smile on your face". I really like to smile at people and perhaps it is the overflowing amount of Joy I feel most of the time that keeps my mouth in an upward turn. I like to keep things looking up, thinking positively about most situations, trusting in the process for His Joy in the outcome, and striving for Joy in every situation. A bit too rose colored glasses for some, but for me it works. Before I speak or think that I have some earthly wisdom that everyone needs to hear about, I will turn to Joy, I will seek Joy and I know I will find it.
Call it a resolution, call it a declaration or just call it a calling. This year I want to understand fully the fullness, the indwelling and the superior reign of His Joy and how to share it with others. I hope you will join me on this journey and walk, share it with others who might also enjoy reading and peruse Joy with me, together as it only takes one of us to bring Joy to the world.
As I said goodnight and Happy New Year last night to my sweet adorable husband, he whispered in the dark......"2012 bring it on!" That will be my New You this Happy Year!

The Perfect Gift

2011-12-30T13:14:00.000-06:00

It never ceases to amaze me how God keeps showing up in so many ways. He certainly did this Christmas. If you all are like me and just now coming up for air, then you may have experienced Him in a special way too. I had everyone here for Christmas, which means 10, under one roof, with four bathrooms, lots of dishes and laundry and trash. Everyone helped, pitched in and did their part as far as cooking, cleaning and preparing the way for all of us to enjoy one another and our time togheter. It was like watching a well oiled machine at work. It was great and the kids were all so sweet telling me to sit this one out, and how they were there to help. I feel like the duties did not fall onto the same people and it took a village to keep the village going and moving forward.

Again I prepared the house weeks in advance, changing the table scape and mantle three times. Setting up the little town knowing how cool it looks at night. Trimming the tree and getting the stockings hung and now paired up with husbands added. The old fashioned lights were placed carefully along the roofline and fence and the wreath we won at an auction to help cancer patients was hung carefully on the front door. Nutcrackers adorn and scatter the mantle and candles strategically places to illuminate the mood. But the two pieces of what is set out to bring sprakle to each room far out shown the glitter that was on everything.

I pulled out a nativity that I had not used in years. It was one my mother had given me years ago that had a few broken ears and chips that did not seem to take away from its Italian beauty. I love setting each figureine out imagining as a live scene what all those wanting to come and adore our Lord and Savior might be doing or thinking. People seeing from afar and walking up onto the little stable wondering what was happening there. Even kings came to adore, and even a begger crawling by to catch a glimpse of the most precious gift of all, Jesus. The other piece that was a new addition was my advent spiral of Mary on a donkey. Each day I moved the little battery operated tea light, sometimes leaving it on overnight and all day, for each day Mary traveled before His birth. I imagined what her journey must have been like very pregnant, sitting in all kids of weather on the back of a donkey. When I would move the light I would say quietly to myself, one more day Mary, one more day. I can relate to the blessing of one more day as each day brings a new gift with it.

The perfect gift. Many questions online are asking that question and even giving people options if they did not get the perfect gift. God's Word says "Every good and perfect gift comes from Him". How did, how do so many miss the good and perfect gift? Simple. I think we make it too complicated, too watered down, too cluttered with elves on shelves and gripped by marketing's make it or break it mentality. God is so simple we need instructions on how to misunderstand Him. If I had done nothing to my house, bought and recieved 0 gifts I would have and did receive a good and perfect gift being with my family. But God is good all the time. He goes beyond what we think we have prepared for ourselves and prepares His way for us. Each step of our way, He prepares for us, to recieve sometimes years later more gifts than we could ever imagine. I will share with you one of mine.
Just before Sept. 11th I found out I had another sister by the same father. I did not know much about her, but was interested to know more. Then when 9-11 hit I felt an urgency to find her. I knew at one time she or her mom lived in New York. I even hired a private investigator to try and find her with little success. I let it go. Four years ago I started an online bible study type tv show on MonTv.com called Madre Minutes. It was more of an exploration with my computer than anything else, but as God would have it and could see it beyond what I see, He was preparing the way for His perfect timing. During these years I have been introduced, met and have established some pretty strong ties nad friendships through this adventure. I was asked along with some of those that God selected to be a part of a group of women who would be considered ambassadors to Macy's department store with a campaign at the time for the women of Rwanda and Katrina uniting their efforts to help each group get back on their feet. I was honored and blessed to be asked. Through that experience, I met a woman named Willa Shallit who also was an ambassador for the artists she represents from Africa, and now Haiti. When the earthquake hit in Haiti Macy's department store stepped up again leading the charge to the buzz phrase "the gift that gives back" presenting the beautiful artwork from it's native people through Heart of Haiti. Again I was asked and got involved.
Just before Christmas, this year, I thought I would take a stab at finding my sister, going through now what has become a more comfotable medium in social media which really was not available to me when I first found out about her. I looked on Facebook. I found someone that had the potential, so put out the feelers and cast my line. It was her. We both were thrilled that we had connected and began to exchange information confirming the information we both had or the lack of. Come to find out she is a missionary in Haiti and goes there many months each year to help the people there. I will find out more as she is coming to visit me in a few days on her way to Haiti, to get to know one another and establish something that most never have the opportunity to do. In our discovery of and just the tip of the iceburg we found out that she too works with and knows Willa Shallit validating for me (at least) that God's hand was in crossing our path from the beginning. Does that amaze you as much as it does me? What a gift! A perfect gift from God. I am still amazed when He does things like that in my life and I don't want to miss it. Ever!
So this Christmas and New Year, there may be things in our lives that we may not want to look at, that we are curious in finding out more about or that God is revealing to us for such a time as this, to open our eyes to the Glory of God. Soak it in. Soak it all in every minute so as not to miss the perfect gift waiting for you everyday and not just something you might find under a tree. He truly is an amazing God who loves each of us so personally.
Happy New and Joy Filled Year! When you think you are in charge.....thank God and think again!

Getting Ready & Having Fun

2011-12-14T22:48:00.000-06:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

They Are Better Off Without

2011-11-21T16:20:00.000-06:00

Me. Have you ever had those pitiful thoughts? Thoughts of unworthiness, of judgement and abandonment all rolled up into one pitiful emotion? Sometimes known as a pity party, sometimes known as a make yourself feel better day, play hookie from life, o gosh she hates me syndrome, the maybe I'll just leave and you'll see road trip to nowhere, or the nobody understands what its like so you tell them in so many words then two hours later you're still talking series. Listen, they are better off without that ME, and I hope that I am becoming a new ME every day. Thank the Lord!
As I sit here, alone, listening to the wind howl, watch the leaves and toilet paper blow from the neighbors yard and imagine, my mind goes in many different directions. I had chemo today, drove myself there, came home, had a bowl of muesli and hemp milk and a cup of green tea and cried. Not because of the alone part but because of all God is revealing to me through all of this. I am looking out my window and see a Wisteria tree that has grown big and strong but not strong enough to do without the tall oaks that stand beside it, that carry it, that hold up its branches that spritz us with perfume in early spring. Today was the last treatment of this sort, the worst of the worst and I cried. I cried when they plugged me in, I cried when I left and I am crying now. I feel like the vine and God is carrying me through all of this and His presence sometimes is so overwhelming the only place for it to come out is my eyes. Seeing this vine crucifixed to the oaks like our Jesus reminds me of His gifts. Did He have anyone who came along side Him to carry the branches, to carry His limbs, to carry His soul so that we could live? So no, I am not having a pity party per say, just having a party thinking its a pity no one is here with me to enjoy what I am seeing.
My friend Emma leaves today to go back to the big island of Australia. She was like this wind that brought moments of grace demonstrated through the Father's love. I can hear her voice like the whistle and howl outside. There are people that cross our lives, that complete a connection with our heavenly Father in ways beyond our imagination. It took a bump in the road to wake me up and bring us together for such a time as this in my life and in hers. A lifelong friend indeed. Never to be forgotten. I learned a great deal about life in the month and a half we were blessed to be in each others company. Like a visit from a near but distant cousin, like a Mary and Elizabeth, adjusting our lives to maximize every stage, every moment God had for us to explore together. Little reminders and glimpses remain around the house, but eternally in my heart she will stay. God is so good all the time. She helped me believe, "You can't be what you can't see."

In the midst of my crying, who calls? Emma. Nudged by God to give me a ring and see how I am doing. It never fails when I am needing Him the most He provides a call, a text, a letter, a hug, a meal, a ray, a sprinkle, a pressing in from all sides carrying my branches like the strong oaks. A hand up not a hand out.

These encounters make me strong, they make me more aware, they bless my heart and life so much. The strength of the wind that blows at His command, the strength of the spiders thread that hangs onto a leaf windsocking through the air, the strength from another are all that bring joy to your life. This, for me, is the real meaning of living faith. Trusting to live organically. Stripped of everything to gain eternal life. He teaches me again and again never tiring of my questions. He can do anything.

I know I am not alone on this walk and have so much to be thankful for. You too?

In the Cloud

2011-11-11T11:04:00.000-06:00

A long hard road, concentrating, pressing on, maxing out, replenishing, renewing and regrouping all has to do with embracing goals, meeting goals and achieving goals. Today, even though there is not a cloud in the sky, my head is in the clouds. I have downloaded "the cloud" and I'm walking on cloud 9 as we prepare for the Texas State CC Championship Meet this weekend where our youngest of 6 is once again adding her chapters to our story. Long awaited moments captured in her mind watching her sister's success wondering when it will be her turn. Guess what, it's her time, it's her turn and it's her race. She is shining like a bright star among thousands of the best runners, but more importantly she shines for Jesus. She knows that genes have a little part to play in her success, but more importantly being a child of the Most High and daughter of the King far surpasses any prize she might win. We have this piece of paper on our bulletin board that I cut out of a magazine years ago that reads, "There is a word for those who never quit.....Champion".
She is a champion already in our book. What a gift to be a blessing. She is ranked with all the rest who have traveled this same road and persevered. Matters not the type of road, but the journey that it takes us all on to get where we are going. All we have to do is listen.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud (great company) of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us". Heb. 12:1
Hook'em Go Harper Longhorns!

Stop and Smell the Flowers

2011-11-03T11:51:00.000-05:00

"The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come. And the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land." Song of Sol 2:12

How often are we walking so fast, rushing to get in and get out, or be somewhere by a certain time (which is good to be on time) and rushing just to get to the next thing on our agenda? How often do we walk past a patch of carefully planted, beautifully placed and esthetically pleasing patch of flowers, but don't bother to stop, take notice or stoop to smell them? The flowers and their loveliness can look something like a blurr of color catching only the corner of our eye, as we pace on. By the way do you see the Love, God in this one above?

Still moving hurriedly but slowing down things start to come into focus. I love going into Wal Mart (ok I don't love going into Wal Mart). What I love is going in through the Garden Center to see the plants and flowers. The petunias and pansies are all in bloom and cast a sweet intoxicating perfume all over me as I pass by. I can not help but stop. If we are in a hurry all the time the intensity of their color can seem faded and even dulled. Of course I can not plant them in my yard cause, well you know, deer would mow them down in a night. Their sweet aroma would beckon the deer over to the porch which would be no boundary for them.....they are hungry. What a tempting delight of God's handiwork for our eyes, our noses and their stomaches. So I enjoy them in the confines of the Garden Center. With chemo apparently your sense of smell is altered which I experienced at a doctors office when she asked me to smell something and I said I could barely smell it. They said it was pretty potent and surprised I could not smell it. Then I was reminded that our sense of smell does diminish somewhat through treatments.

But not with the flowers........praise God. I walked over to them, put my face down amongst their petals and waved my hand toward my face. I took a deep breath over and over as their fragrance went all the way down to my belly button. It was glorious. I just kept waving and sniffing, waving and inhaling, waving and then.......someone came over as #onlyinTexas they might do, to ask," Honey are you alriiiiiight?" I assured her I was fine and was just admiring God's perfume. It did open up a conversation about Colorado and Arizona and how we could grow these flowers with no threat of the mowing deer. She wants to move back while I told her I would settle for a visit.

"The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the Word of our God shall stand forever." Is. 40:8 and in v. 7b it says, "because the breath of the Lord blows upon it". Have I ever considered the fragrance of the Lord as His breath. I am so glad His breath will be sweet, healing and intoxicating to our souls. Have I ever considered His is the same breath that sharply freezes our nose hairs in winter, that sends warning to us when something is burning, or reminds us when to change a dirty diaper? Can that be as sweet aroma to me as well? Some things in life really just stink, but they are sweet aroma to God and have the life giving breath of God in the midst of it. He is the only one that can help me see and smell past the end of my nose. The violets and pansies are especially nice.

Monday was Halloween and we passed out candy. It is my least favorite holiday and I don't even look at it as a holiday.....yuk. It has gotten way out of hand.....but so have a great deal of other things so we won't go there. I have tried to find ways to make it more fun and more about other things than spooky stuff. I have for years. Last year I did a photo essay of all the people who came to our house. A montage of kids dressed up at my door. Some of those same faces came back, but not as many this year. I did get exhausted from up down up down up down answering the door, but when else do you open your door without question to strangers? So I asked before I opened, "Is it a trick or a treat?" And as I would opened the door to see who was there I would say, "It's a treat! O look at all of you. Now before you get candy you have to figure out who I am" This year, not wanting to scare the little ones with my bald head, I decided to go as a bald eagle. I know corny right? No, I did not get pictures of them this year or of my outfit, but saw lots of homemade ones like mine. So I put a white baseball cap on and taped a yellow beak on it, put on a furry brown poncho, a white furry scarf and a black chenille scarf boa for my wings. That was it. So I would tip my hat and say," I am bald and I can fly what am I". And again as #onlyinTexas true fashion I got some pretty fun answers....... I got "vulcher?, turkey?" which I had not even thought of but told them great answers cause yes they too are bald..........even with the hint of "think symbol of America" they were stumped......made me worry about the little fellas. Most of them got it after that hint. It was fun.

So stop, get out of the truck, slow down, smell the flowers next time and all the time. Take your sweetheart a little nosegay of violets and tell them they are the fragrance of God. You won't be disappointed. Know the very breath of God, the very heart and essential oil of God is what you are smelling. "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak"......(and breathe) AHHHHHHHHH!

It will make you never want to exhale. Is what comes forth from my mouth as sweet? Hope so.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer". Ps. 19:14 "And I have put My words in your mouth; I have covered you with the shadow of My hand, that I may plant the heavens, lay the foundations of the earth, and say to Zion, 'You are My people'" Is. 51:16

Day 31 Step 31 Wrap Up

2011-10-31T17:34:00.002-05:00

31 Days Walk to Wellness

Day 30 Step 30 A Real Diet

2011-10-30T20:32:00.000-05:00

This diet comes to me by way of my health researcher friend and RN from Australia that I have mentioned throughout the 31 days. Aside from the fact that I am on my last day and tomorrow is wrap up I will post this diet and continue to bring new and informational posts when I can.
I try to think about what Jesus ate way back when and it was mostly vegetables, nuts, grains, potatoes, fish, maybe and meat very seldom as that was a luxury item. They did not have convenience stores, grocery stores or big mega stores like we do. They bought fresh, local and they farmed and grew their own food. They probably swapped and bartered with one another just to survive. Every day it wasn't what was I going to wear that day, or what shall I do to have fun, or where will the road take me today....it was how am I going to feed my family and survive today. This living "organically" day to day I am sure was stressful, but they worked hard and ate what little they had and maybe some days did without. Their classroom was the earth. Their book for learning was years of experience. Their lessons they passed on for generations. How did we get so far from it?
The odds are against you if you live where you can not get organic, or funds are limited unless you can grow food yourself and the fact we are faced with times and a world that really does not seem to support this type of plan. It is more about quick, convenient and marketing. It will seem like going against the norm, and until we call for the change it will remain. Building up a plan based on real science which will give you a strong route forward is the kind of diet that will give you, me, us the best course of action for our bodies to survive the elements we face every day.....unlike our brothers and sisters of Jesus day who had a much purer environment. I am sure they dealt with their own.
1. Clean your liver:
2. Prepare yourself: Boost your immune system, Increase Omega 3 levels, Consider the latest research, Cut animal fats, saturated fats and fried foods.
3. Eat to beat Cancer: The Rainbow Diet bases it's diet on foods like
fresh garlic, leeks, onions, spring onions and radishes, legumes, peas and broad beans, glycoproteins and polysaccharides like aloe vera, echinacea, turmeric, pectins (apples/pears), oats, psyllium, coconut, tomatoes, carrots, brown rice, even red wine and mother's milk contain important protective factors that encourage better messaging between cells. Medicinal Mushrooms like Reishi, Maitake, Cordyceps which are beta-glucan polysaccharides. Eat dark red foods like beets, dark plums, red grapes which provide anthocyanins known to kill cancer. Bright colored foods like red and yellow peppers, peaches, apricots, watermelon. Greens like kale, spinach, broccoli, cabbage for vitamin K. Sprouting seeds and unpasteurized nuts. Bitter foods like watercress, gooseberries, cranberries, blackberries, wild strawberries. Or almonds, cashew nuts, millet, buckwheat and apricot kernels all of which contain a variety of natural compounds like B-17.
Green tea and olive oil, fennel, oregano will kill yeasts and boost immune systems.
Switch out of cows milk to goat cheese or rice, or coconut milk. Swap red meat for wild game that has fed itself and oily fish.
4. Diet alone won't suffice mostly because of our environment. Try to exercise for about 30 minutes and strenuous forms of yoga. It will add oxygen into your body, reduce levels of toxins and rebalance hormones.
Adding supplements also can add into what our foods have eliminated.
One more day and we will wrap this up. Hope this has been helpful.

Day 28&29 Step 28&29 Cheeseburger Cheeseburger Chips Chips

2011-10-29T08:45:00.000-05:00

I only have two more days of this 31 day Walk to Wellness and I miss a day? Sticking to a challenge and forming a habit should for most only take 21 days......well it seems like it takes longer for me. Some of my absent mindedness can be blamed on chemo brain (cb's), but this challenge has been good for me in lots of different ways. For starters it has taught me how much I depend on spell check....Yikes! It has encouraged me to write every day and that is something I really like to do. Secondly, it has confirmed in my what I already knew, but need to hear and practice again and again. And finally, it has connected me with my readers unlike before I started and that has been fun for me to see what speaks to you and what doesn't. At any rare I appreciate your comments, your candor, and your faithfulness even when I miss a day......like our Father in heaven you remain faithful.
If you were a faithful follower of Saturday Night Live (SNL) as we all were when it first came out and because we did not have much else to do on a Saturday night you might remember the sketch with Dan Akroid and John Bellushi where they were cooks in a small diner type place where all they served was cheeseburger, chips and Pepsi. They would shout it out "cheeseburger cheeseburger chips chips pepsi pepsi". I know you remember it. It was hilarious. People tried to order different stuff and they said "no hamburger just cheeseburger"......Our topic today is not cheeseburgers, but how the Western world ignores the potentially cheap complementary therapy......stopping cancer in the kitchen. While cheeseburgers, milk shakes, sugar teas, sticky buns and french fries are some of what is pushed among doctors (ie...just go to the cafe on the bottom floor at MD Anderson of the Maze Clinic and see for yourself) so as not to lose weight or too much during treatment for fear of the legitimate cachexia. The World Health Organization is quite clear that 70% of all cancers can be attributed to poor diet. I would have to say the 30 pounds I have lost since my diagnosis was 30 pound I needed to pitch. I really have never felt better and I do have that to be thankful for. I did not need to be carrying around that extra poundage that put stress on everything. I have talked about cutting out dairy, sugar and wheat from your diet for lots of reasons. The human body can not assimilate cows milk unless it is in its raw form which is not bad for you by the way. I discovered, I should say we ( my health expert friend Emma Cohen who does give consultations btw) a yogurt that has the raw milk in it called Dreaming Cow a New Zealand style artisan yogurt. Did not know they are turning yogurt into an art form but what the heck......it is made with Grade A non-homogenized grass fed (key word) with active cultures. I am going to be taught how to make a spread with this like a mayonnaise and dressing. Watch for it on Madre's Kitchen.
Cutting out the sugar, even when health experts say that sugar is good for you, is key to blocking growth in cancer cells. Harvard, UCLA and MD Anderson have all done clinical trials which you can find on Cancer Watch website that say the highest levels of cancer occur in people with the highest levels of blood glucose (common sugar). There are lots of different types of sugar. Fructose, sucrose, plant sugars, and polysaccharides that aid your immune defense, and intra and inter cellular messaging (which is the type I have Her2 that has radio towers to call all cancers.....think we can get them to talk to ATT?) But common or garden variety glucose is equal to a chemical toxin. Fact! We should be keeping our blood glucose levels to a minimum if we want to beat cancer. Another point why sugars should be eliminated. Your liver, immune and lymph systems will be blocked by animal and saturated fats. Your liver is your center of detoxification. It plays a major role in your energy supplies to the cells and in your immune system. Its health is crucial to the survival of a cancer patient. But when the liver (say of a cancer patient) is 'full' or clogged up with dead cancer cells, maybe dead yeasts and bacteria, cholesterol, cancer drug chemicals and lactic acid, it is grossly overworked. These block the bile ducts and prevent the liver cleansing itself easily. If your liver is blocked, you stagnate your while immune system. That is what happens in cancer treatment patients called cachexia. They start to lose enormous amounts of weight, have no energy and just can't move......I have lost weight but I have so much energy it has amazed me.
Eating more fats especially those in cheeseburgers you will clog up your liver even more which messes up your good glucose levels and weakens your whole immune and detoxification system. Furthermore, the lymph system, the home to your white immune cells, the liquid that takes toxins away from cells and nourishment into them, also get clogged up with fat and simple doesn't work as well. Growth hormones? The NCI in the USA has shown clearly that dairy, through insulin like growth factor (IGF-1) in implicated in cellular proliferation, metabolic change and even cancer itself. Many cancer and nutrition experts recommend consuming no cows dairy or saturated fats at all for this reason. You simply do not need to add a cows' growth hormone into your body.
This is not to put the scare in anyone, but to open blinded eyes and the falsities we have been 'fed' by the FDA, some doctors and other health givers that refuse to see, more because of money driven sales of drugs etc, the importance of diet and nutritional supplements. We as a people have to create the change that will be necessary, demanding they take notice of what it is we are wanting and drive sales in that direction for them to sit up and take notice and put their money. What is it that God says about money?
Heb 13:5 "Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have". He has given us everything we need in the world He has created and in our bodies to defend. We do need some help and supplements because of the world WE have created.
Tomorrow will be a diet for chemotherapy but really a diet for anyone........

Day 27 Step 27 Juicy Juice

2011-10-27T22:30:00.000-05:00

Juicing has been around for a long time. Take for instance we have had our juicer for over 20 years. We just replaced the blade. I am sure we should have replaced it long before now, but we have not used it everyday for 20 years. That has changed.
A daily regime of juicing should consist of any combination of these vegetables and fruits. If you are dealing with major health issues the greener the better. Some experts are even saying carrot should not be the base but more green leaf should be......others differ in their opinion. To me it's all good and will keep carrot as my base and add green leafy veggies more than I would if I was not dealing with cancer treatments.
Mix these up as many as you like:
carrot, beets, banana pomegranate, spinach, purple cabbage, cabbage, celery berries (darker the better) kale, all greens like eet greens, turnip greens, strawberries, mangoes, apples, lemons, parsley......I added basil in my juice today and it gave it a wonderful flavor. I grow parsley and basil and love just snipping off a pinch for cooking and now juicing.
A daily regime might look like this:
3-4 green leafy vegetable juices
A great mix: 2-3 celery stalks
4-5 kale stalks
1-2 apples
1-2 inches of ginger (really potent, have used for nausea in chemo)
1 lemon pith and peel removed ok

Another great mix: apple/ginger juice, apple/carrot, carrot only, my all time fav apple/carrot/celery/spinach/cucumber

The idea is the more colorful the better. I have used red/orange/yellow peppers, cucumber, all different kinds of kale, mustard greens, beets and turnips. Don't make juices up too far in advance of drinking, no more than 5-6 hours so the enzymes and nutrients will remain for optimum consumption.
It is best to juice fresh and organic.
Start drinking pomegranate juice. It can be store bought, make sure its organic. Lakewood brand is a nice one.
I love our Champion cause it is easy to clean and makes juice through a press filter which is really the best. In the time it takes me to juice and clean up I could have cooked or had something else. You just have to get in the habit. Also what helps is when you get your vegetable etc from the store.....wash and cut to the size you need for your juicer and store them ready to pull out, that way that step is already done for you when you start your juicer.

I think you will find that juicing gives you way a more satisfaction than other types of breakfasts. More energy, more fullness, greater clarity and wonderful thing you will be doing for your body first thing in the morning, again as an afternoon snack and if you like an evening cocktail before retiring. Enjoy and happy juicing.

Day 26 Step 26 Regionals

2011-10-26T22:32:00.000-05:00

Today my youngest qualified for regionals in cross country as a freshman. This means she will letter as a freshman and hopefully go on to state. My chemo this week has been different in that I have had litte reaction this week. I geared up as I did not want to miss her race so really worked hard to follow the regime closely. So with that said.....we are going to regionals and that is all that matters at the moment. I am so happy to be able to participate on many levels.
Hope you all are enjoying the warm days and cool nights....get out and get your 20 mins of vitamin D ok?

Day 25 Step 25 Ready for a Change

2011-10-25T22:07:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XatDj1D0DP4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

When you decide you are ready.....you make up your mind and you are ready. I was ready for a change and it took lots of things to help me make that change in my mind. They still are changing, still evolving, still working out the details and changing everyday all for the better. God tells us to embrace change, the seasons change so why should we not be ready, accept and flow with change. If we stop being available to change we stop being avaiable to God. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow but wants us to be ready for Him when He says 'go', when He says "you ready", when He says "I am ready". When we can identify with the cause within us that got us to this point and place in time that we see our purpose and promise the winds of change don't seem like such a storm, but more like a gently breeze. God's Word says Today is the Day of Salvation. We don't have to wait for a bump in the road to urge us to change.....He is ready when we are.....Always ready.

Day 24 Step 24 Drop in the Bucket

2011-10-24T21:23:00.000-05:00

God gives us information for such a time as this and will always show up when we are thirsty.
As I said yesterday the importance of water is crucial not only in your diet but for life itself. We have conditioned not only our bodies but our minds that flavored, pretty much everything, is better. We also condition our children to think the same. Maybe it's because our water doesn't taste that great to begin with.....right? RIGHT!
I said on one of the other days that I was replacing my sprayer with a reverse osmosis system...well that was a few weeks ago and I still have not done it. I am moving not as fast as I hoped only cause I am realizing I have a lot of work to do not only detoxing myself but my house as well. I am calling tomorrow.....you can hold me to it.
With fluoride and chlorine on the rise in our water systems here are just a few samples of their harmful affects.
Fluoride is known to cause dental fluorosis, a defect of the tooth enamel
Fluoride is associated with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
Fluoride can cause a crippling bone disease called skeletal fluorosis.
Fluoride depresses the activity of the human thyroid gland
Fluoride disrupts the activity of normally functioning hormones.
Long-term risks of consuming chlorinated water include excessive free radical formation, which accelerates aging, increases vulnerability to genetic mutation and cancer development, hinders cholesterol metabolism, and promotes hardening of arteries.
Excess free radicals created by chlorinated water also generate dangerous toxins in the body. These have been directly linked to liver malfunction, weakening of the immune system and pre-arteriosclerotic changes in arteries. Excessive free radicals have been linked also to alterations of cellular DNA.⁴² Chlorine also destroys antioxidant vitamin E,² which is needed to counteract excess oxysterols/free radicals for cardiac and anti-cancer protection.
O and don't get me started on swimming pools.....read for yourself.
Researched at:
Orthomolecular.org & HistoryofWaterFilters.com

Is is just me or did anyone else notice the first three letters in the word FLUORIDE......hmmmmm.
Also I have found out the DaSani water has the least amount of chemicals in their water. And more importantly to me anyway is the bottle. It is made from 30% plant. The thin bottles that are easy to crush give off gases that are harmful, just as freezing water bottles are a big no no. Gases in the plastic are released into the water when they are smushed, frozen, heated or made from material that is toxic. So consider your source when it comes to water. Glass is better, osmosis is best, filtered well optimum. Dr. Masaru Emoto did an incredible study on water and frozen water crystals. He makes some valid points and has discovered something remarkable. I won't be digging a well in the backyard, but I will do my best with what I have. Going off the grid should be on lots of peoples minds. Next......SOLAR PANELS!

Day 23 Step 23 H2O

2011-10-23T22:38:00.000-05:00

Jesus invites those who know their need, those who are poor in spirit (cf. Mt 5:3), to take the initiative and come to him and drink (v. 37). Drinking refers to believing (cf. v. 38), which means aligning oneself with him, trusting him, receiving his teaching and obeying his commands. Such faith will enable one to receive the Spirit and enter an abiding relationship with Christ after his glorification. All of this is based on who God is and what he has done for us. When we believe we open our hands to receive what his grace offers--we come and drink. Jesus who brings God's gracious offer of life.
The human body is composed of about two-thirds water. Water is in our blood, muscle tissue, bone marrow, lower layers of our skin, in our fatty tissues, as well in our stomachs. Water is the body’s lubrication and helps in its movement and function. Without water we’d be nothing more than dried bones and skin, and wouldn’t even exist. The average adult needs approximately one quart of water per day to prevent the onset of dehydration.
Our bodies need water. It is the main stay of our existence besides air. It is vital to our ability to live. Drinking enough water every day is as important as what we eat if not more so. We can go without food, but we can not go for too long without water......when we deprive ourselves of water we deplete our ability to process food, function mentally and stay alive. I know I am guilty of going a day without water drinking teas, juices or other liquids that really don't measure up. Our bodies function better with water. Perhaps it is the key. I know it helps with headaches, digestion, mental function, sleep, energy and a whole lot more. Our belief in God comes from "drinking in" where we align ourselves, trust and obey gives us greater opportunities to understand our relationship with the Father. When water is introduced into our diet as a main source of fluid our ability to understand and recognize when things are right, by the way we feel, the energy we have and our general makeup, our "diets" will greatly be improved.

Day 22 Step 22 Protective and Corrective

2011-10-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

I understand these terms especially since I am a parent. I am protective of my children, my home, my spouse and the things I love. I am also a corrective, spare the rod spoil the child, sort of a parent but if you ask my older children, I have lightened up in my older parenting years. I don't know if that means you should wait a few years to have children or just I have more experience under my belt. It is probably the latter and I am thankful I am still in the throws of parenting with a young adult in the house. It keeps me young and its really fun. What does that have to do with wellness and this little exercise? Hopefully I will learn something new and fill you in as well.
When we consider what goes into our bodies I think these are two of the fundamental questions we should ask ourselves? Is what I am eating protecting my body or is is potentially destroying it? And in addition to that, or is what I am eating correcting...ie edifying our bodies so that it can do it's job to protect. I would have to say the environment, and the industrial age have already just cause for our bodies to find ways to correct what is being done to it every day. So how do we go about it?
Get fresh! Eating foods that are fresh, like those we have grown ourselves (self sufficient and knowing where it comes from) such as garlic, leeks, onions and radishes all containing anti-cancer agents working on cellular and blood levels. Broad beans, peas, pulses (legumes) that protect us especially against the spread of hormonally driven cancers (such as the one I had Her2). Foods including aloe vera, echinacea, turmeric, pectins (eg. apples and pears), arabinogalactins (eg. in oats, psyllium, coconut, tomatoes, carrots, and brown rice) are far leading in the protective mode than destructive. I would have to say getting back to allanaturalle is preferable when it comes to eating. If you can grow it you should. Eat foods that are dark red like beetroot, dark plums, aubergines, red grapes known to kill cancer cells. Bright colored foods such as red and yellow peppers, peaches, apricots and watermelon known to restrict cancer cells. Green foods such as kale, spinach, broccoli, cabbage for vitamin K. Sprouting seeds for sulphoraphanes which have strong anti-cancer activity. Nuts and seeds like organic muesli for breakfast, boosted by organic pumpkin and sunflower seeds, and linseeds. Great for B bitamins like folic acid and biotin to help PROTECT DNA. Bitter foods such as watercress ( all those sandwiches we called poodle food.....actually good for you) gooseberries, cranberries (not dried), blackberries and wild strawberries. Almonds, cashews, millet, buckwheat, and apricot kernels all contain a variety of natural compounds like B-17 which is referred as natures chemotherapy. Green tea, olive oil, fennel, oregano ( which is great for upper respiratory btw) will boost your immune system and kill yeasts. Switch if you can out of cow's dairy to a little goat cheese, soya and rice milk. Swap red meat for game ( buffalo, deer, elk, wild turkey(not in a bottle) and oily fish. Eat more mushrooms, apples, and organic brown rice ( I know repeat but we need repeat sometimes).
In other words......INVEST IN YOURSELF! Small steps can make huge strides! More to come.

Day 21 Step 21 Life Saving Vitamin D

2011-10-21T10:20:00.000-05:00

Take time to watch this video. It is very informative, it is an hour long, but so worth the time. It could be the hour that saves your life.

Day 20 Step 20 What to Eat

2011-10-20T23:05:00.000-05:00

There are many ways to tackle eating during chemo and what has amazed me is that it really should be how we eat all the time. Sure I was taking supplements before my diagnosis, but what I was also eating made me realize they couldn't keep up. Maybe that is where vitamins and supplements get a bad rap. The old adage....."if it doesn't work take more". Well that certainly is not something I follow and would not suggest it. If you are not matching up your eating with what you are supplementing you are canceling out basically both. We have to get to a fundamental mindset in understanding how the body works, how it reacts to certain nutrients and how it responds to food and supplements. There are many references to eating and food in the Bible. It would be a fascinating study. I knew a doctor in Houston named Dr. Cherry and he wrote several books one called The Bible Cure. I have only read parts of this book, but Cherry spent a great deal of time researching and helping people discover their true potential nutritionally.
I learned that if I was to eat meat I should stick to wild game as much as possible. Thank heavens my HEB grocery store carries Buffalo and other types of wild game including a wonderful array of seafood as well as organic poultry. Red meat should be kept to a minimum about once every two weeks. Those weeks preparing for surgery and immediately following my diet predominately was vegetarian eating foods high in alkaline to help alkalinize my body. When we give our body what it needs to function properly it really can do what it is designed to do......fight off disease and illnesses. I stopped all dairy products consuming other foods rich in calcium such as spinach and kale. I was eating lots of dark green leafy veggies along with orange and red veggies which would include some squashes, peppers and roots. I kept fruit to a minimum remembering that fruit contains sugar remembering that sugar feeds cancer. Avoid or limit alcohol, caffeine and carbonated drinks which thankfully was not a problem. I snacked on nuts (walnuts, almonds and sunflower seeds with at least 5 Brazil nuts a day for a daily selenium quota), kale chips (for recipe go to Madre's Kitchen), raw veggies and hummus. Ok the only thing I was not eating cause I just found out about them were the Brazil nuts....not my fav, but will work them in. I continued to eat onions for there anti-inflammatory value and quercitin. You can also place a cut in quarters onion in a bowl in the corner of your room and it will absorb any viruses or germs floating around. Of course for the first few hours your room does smell like a Rudy's BBQ but it is not that bad.
I think that hardest part about all this discovery is that I am getting all this info from someplace other than those giving me my treatments. I have done investigating on my own, asked others and sought out information from others who have treated people naturally. Is there really a diet for chemotherapy, I think so, and I think it is a good one that many and most should follow.

Day 19 Step 19 Sinking my teeth

2011-10-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

At first it was easy for me to give up, stop eating the things I knew were harmful for me or that lacked in our dietary consumption. I stuck to my new regime knowing it was life changing, life giving and what I was going to have to do regardless. Getting into that mindset was really not as difficult as I though it would be. I still like things I could sink my teeth in to. I am a crunchy girl and have always loved munching on celery, carrots, crackers, chips and things that go crunch. I was a heading into the land of green, vegetarian and somewhat gluten free. It was all good I just had to learn how to satisfy that need in me.
Yesterday I devoted much of my Step 18 to oils and my daughters commented my post and so glad she did. Can't believe I left out the one that I really like. Here is what she had to say.

hattie sparks said...
like this post...coconut oil is great but actually hydrogenates almost as easily as olive oil. i would recommend grapeseed oil, which very clearly states on its label that it bears a much higher hydrogenation temperature point AND boasts a much milder, and almost non-existent taste. good for sauteeing, frying, and roasting dishes. we have been using it (sparingly, of course) with almost everything!

Here is a great salad dressing recipe my friend Emma Cohen, found on Facebook, a natural path, registered nurse in Australia and health researcher extraordianaire. This organic recipe has been in her family for years.....a better alternative to any bottle, needs no refrigeration and will stick around for a few weeks.
Crush 3-4 cloves of garlic with a bit of Himalyaan rock salt until it is quite liquid. Add into bottle or jar with lid. Add 2 teaspoons of seeded mustard, 2 pinches of mixed herbs( I have a terrific blend I will mention later), 1/2 squeezed lemon juice and fill 1/3 of the container with apple cider vinegar ( I use 1/2 cider and 1/2 Balsamic vinegar). Then fill up the rest of the container with olive oil or flaxseed oil, shake bottle and taste to get balance of oil/vinegar ratio correct to your taste. Use this dressing, keep out of sunlight.

This is a very delightful dressing and I found it essential in my diet to go with as many salads as I ate.
I am tired today for some reason.....hard week so will leave you with that and see you tomorrow. Enjoy.

Day 17 Step 17 Easy as Pie

2011-10-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

The importance of supplements in daily regime is vital to override what we ingest, what we inhale, what we consume as members of this planet. With decisions being made on "our behalf" from our government officials makes it more viable, more reasonable and more important for us to take supplements. Vitamins are getting a bad rap these days. Vitamins are essential compounds that generally can be obtained in small amounts from dietary sources. Fat-soluable vitamins include vitamin A, D, E and K. The B complex vitamins and vitamin C are all water soluble. According to Livestrong.com the bad rap really depends on the type of vitamins. Water soluble vitamins are not stored in your body and rarely when taken in excess cause harm, but fat soluble vitamins can and could cause damage and even death. Supplements affect individuals differently and have different degrees of health risks and benefits. Multivitamins cannot take the place of food nutrition. They are essential compounds that generally can be obtained in small amounts from dietary sources.
Knowing this I increased the intake through juicing. Foods need to be fresh and organic. The more colorful the food the better. 70% of your diet needs to be raw to get the maximum benefit from food. You get that from juicing as it will make up the raw quota of your diet.
Drinking fluids with your meals, 30 mins before and 30 mins after, dilutes stomach acid and prevents proper absorption. Avoid all processed foods, sugars, wheat - use amaranth, rice, spelt and buckwheat are better alternatives. Use only coconut oil, organic peanut oil, sunflower oil or sesame seed oil for cooking. Heating up olive oil causes hydrogenation of the oil which is a carcinogenic porcess. Olive oil should not be heated up over 86 degrees and no oil should be REused. Heat your pan, have vegetables ready, put oil in pan and immediately put vegetables in pan to absorb the heat.
These are some simple and easy things to incorporate into our daily lives that can and will make a difference. I hope this helps you start on a road to better health. More to come.

Day 16 Step 16 Spirit is Strong Flesh is Weak

2011-10-16T22:18:00.000-05:00

Ok Ok I know I missed a step. How often do we all miss a step. Well this challenge of writing every day is not as easy as I thought. I promised and I did not keep it. How often do I promise and not keep my promise? Too often I am sorry to say. How often do I let my Savior down by not keeping my word to Him. That is why I knew I needed to do this new lifestyle not on my own, but with His help and help from others.....cause my spirit is strong but my flesh is so weak. I need all the help I can get. I want and strive to be a promise keeper.
So in order to prepare my body for chemo and what was about to happen I cut out dairy, sugar and wheat. I really focused on the sugar because sugar feeds cancer. I did not want to feed any cancer that MIGHT still be in my body. So I pulled out my old juicer and started juicing three times a day. Immediately I felt the results. I felt less puffy, more energy and less bloated. It was amazing. What I love about juicing is that your body responds to it so quickly. And lets face it folks, we are a fast food generation.....we want it now and we want it fast. I also know that anything that will last for any length of time needs to be given the right amount of time. I knew from the get go that cancer brings on an entire new meaning to change in lifestyle. That was a given. What I love about juicing is that you get results fast. So I bought organic, ate as organic as I could reintroducing lots of green into my diet and juiced. Whenever I needed to eat something I would just juice. I ate smaller meals more often which really is the way we are suppose to eat. I began to notice that I was eating less and getting full quicker. I was not requiring the BIGGIE size I was so used to. We really eat way to much.
My favorite juice is the apple carrot spinach. Carrot ends up being the base vegetable for all my juicing. I add ginger, spinach, kale, parsnip, beets and lots of combination of those. You can find many recipes online for juicing. The Gerson Diet is really a good one to look at for basic recipes. The main thing guys is to eat LIVE food not dead food. I walked through the grocery store after my surgery and just saw the word CANCER on every thing on the shelves. Much of it is dead food. So I cleaned out my pantry, replaced everything in there with live food and O I love my pantry now. I know where everything is and there is nothing in there first that would really tempt me and second that I know I really should not eat. That is comforting in itself.
So start juicing which will help clean out the body, expand your taste buds, and give you more energy. I felt like I was giving my body, my temple where Jesus lives, exactly what I should have been giving it for many years. Because of my weak flesh I would never stick to the regime. Sometimes it takes a wake up call to realize what is best for you.

Day 14 Step 14 The Fog Lifted

2011-10-14T07:03:00.000-05:00

With cooler temperatures comes fog. I actually love seeing the landscapes around here when there is fog. With the different elevations you get to see the fog from various locations and perspectives. It does make it difficult to drive sometimes, but all you have to really do is just slow down.
That is what needed to happen when I started gathering material for this new lifestyle regime of mine. I needed to just slooooow down a bit and wait for the fog to clear. There is so much information out there, so many sweet people giving their advice, so many books to read, blogs to visit and people I was meeting. Can you say FOG HORN!?

I still am having to sift through bit by bit as if I were crawling along. At the same time God brings forth people and information just at the right time when I need to hear it. For instance. Just before my hair was falling out I noticed it started getting stiff, unmanageable and coarse. Then I went to William Sonoma to get some gluten free flour, I know I can get it other places but was there so got some. The sales lady asked if I were on a gluten free diet. I told her I was walking through breast cancer treatment. She said, "O I am nine years out". We got to talking and she asked what kind of treatment etc I was on. She told me my hair would fall out and that it would hurt before it did, that the actual weight of my hair would hurt my head. About a week later I would run my fingers through my hair and handfuls of hair would come out so I knew it was time to shave it off. It really did hurt.

So I shaved it off. Then last night most of the rest of it fell out after I rubbed my hair drying it with a towel. Like a break through and the lifted fog my head looked not that bad. It was ok....cold, but ok. So I am a hat and scarf girl. Can't do the wig thing I don't think.....just not for me.

Vintage mink hat.....ooolala

Sassy with my glasses.

What I have learned is that our outward appearance is so temporal and overrated. We are always looking and trying to improve the way we look when really its like the fog for when it burns off, though beautiful in it's own right, it reveals a beauty from underneath and within. In the next days ahead I will begin to share with you my regime that is working for me that really could be adapted to a person looking for better health......it took the fog however to roll in, hang in the balance, cover and fill all spaces to wake me up. A bump in the road that slowed me down long enough to wait and begin to understand the joy within that comes when the fog lifts. Most of us walk around in a fog.

Let the Son burn off what has been there all along. Beauty.

Day12 &13 Step 12&13 Plowing Through Cement

2011-10-13T06:45:00.000-05:00

Song of Solomon 2:15 states, "Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes". My apologies to my 5:30am readers for now disappointing two days in a row. Yesterday was a break through day in lots of ways. I volunteer and teach bible study at Christian Women's Job Corp and the foxes were wrecking havoc on many of the women trying to discourage, distract and defeat. As many of the women received the Father's blessing, some were not as interested. So it became like plowing through cement. I sat down to teach and that is when it began to unravel. One demoralized by fear over dramatized her distaste for being there, one buried her head in the sand only to pop up with sarcasm, and another was wanting to jump in with God but did not want to appear weak. I began to shake in my seat for I knew I was meeting the author of havoc and I had my work cut out for me. So I asked, "Why are yall here, why do you show up every morning". They gave me their answers.
God turned it all around for His purpose and good but it felt like plowing through cement. It was not easy. Don't miss understand I could identify with each one of these ladies. I have sat in their seats too often hesitating to give God everything. That is where the enemy, the little foxes, like to have their way. Have you ever watched a fox in the wild. They are clever, cautious, quiet, fast, beautiful, and deadly. I shared with the ladies that some of the lies they have believed about themselves for so long have become truths in their hearts. We wrote many of them on the board yesterday. Freedom. There were many tears more from the hurt it had caused. I told them like a fox these lies will try and rear their head up from time to time, but we hold a big mallet, Jesus, in our hand that can, like the gofer game, bop them in the head whenever they pop up. They will begin to recognize what is truth and what is a lie.
Later in the day one of the three who struggled so much came back and asked for forgiveness and want to forgive many people in her life. Praise the Lord. It was needless to say a draining day, so by the time I got home I was pooped. I kept thinking about what I would write about yesterday and it kept changing. Another break through is that much of the rest of my hair fell out last night. I was drying my head, a white towel mind you, and then looked at the towel and it was black......I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.....then I looked in the mirror. The old has passed and the new will begin to come out soon enough. Strange how that works. Just as we are new creatures in Christ, the old man has passed. There are many things about my old man that will pass with what I am going through, and there are many things yet to work on. That is ok. As long as I have stuff to work on I know God is not through with me yet. Amen. Better get out the plow time to hit the cement.
Have a blessed day and thanks for showing up each day and for more of the grace extended in Day 11.

Day 11 Step 11 Grace

2011-10-11T21:58:00.000-05:00

"You say grace before meals.

All right.

But I say grace before the play and the opera,

And grace before the concert and pantomime,

And grace before I open a book,

And grace before sketching, painting,

Swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing;

And grace before I dip the pen in the ink."

G.K. Chesterton, from an early notebook (mid 1890's)

Can we get back to saying Grace in the daily grind.

He wants to be part of the dishes, the laundry, the carpool,

The arguments, the decisions, the mistakes,

The chemo, the challenges, the doctor visits, the births,

Grace to cover us with a robe of righteousness,

Covering a multitude of sin.

The bride of Christ.

White as snow.

Grace.

Day 10 Step 10 Superwoman

2011-10-10T19:11:00.000-05:00

Even in my mess, I put on my vest with an S on my chest.....Yes I will. Yes I can. You can too!

Day 9 Step 9 Preparation & Purging

2011-10-09T14:39:00.000-05:00

I am not sure anyone is prepared for when a doctor walks in and says, "It's ...fill in the blank . In God's Word He asks us to be prepared to give an answer with regards to our faith and the things of the Lord. I think I do a pretty good job at that and if I don't know the answer I look it up. I had no preparation for that day July 7th 2011 when I was told I had breast cancer, told a lumpectomy was probably not an option, that because of my timeline we could do surgery in five days to give me more time for recovery before my daughters wedding, told I should take both breasts cause 1 in 4 women get it again in the other, told if it was in my nodes it would be the kitchen sink for treatment, told I would not die (that was a highlight), told it would be a year long process and told that my faith would carry me through. The last statement was the one I held onto. God says our faith alone saves us and it only takes a mustard seed amount of faith. Well I knew I had more than a mustard seed so felt blessed and assured. Still scary, yet felt somehow prepared in facing the unknown. Some of it was the confidence in my doctors, confidence in my family, but mostly the confidence I have in God, that He is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do. I felt like God orchecstrated events leading up to this event that prepared me to be able to prepare my heart and be prepared for this road ahead....basically prepared to give an answer. He showed me over the years what health, nutrition and supplements can do so that when the time came, for such a time as this, my learning curve would not be as great encouraging me on confidently, without hesitation. Dr. Gonzalez dot com at his clinic says, "don't make cancer your life move on with your life".
So the preparation was in place now came the purging of self, of the known, of things in my life that I had put off purging. I think purging is more of an ongoing process than a one time deal. If we are not constantly pruning and purging our lives, minds and thoughts bringing them to the likeness of Christ then we stay stagnant and you know what happens to things when they become stagnant......they stink. Along with purging my stinking thinking about many things God was purging misconceptions I had about Him. Thank goodness. Finding God in everything about this walk requires purging, cleaning out, massive cleansing on my part to allow room for Him, His Holy Spirit to take up residence. Well not only was I looking inward I began to look around my house realizing....there were closets to be had. So I am using this time to purge junk I conceded to live with just as I chose to live the life I was living thinking I was immune....none of us are immune to the wilds of the enemy, but there are HUGE things we can be doing in our lives that can make a difference in the long run for the long haul.
I started filling my mind and body with nutrients it needed that would promote life taking away the things, sugar, wheat and dairy for starters, that would take away from longevity. It has been a great soil preparation for this new way of life I will be commencing from this point forward. Taking what God has prepared and purging forward reaping the benefits across the board. Welcoming new life as I feed my body, mind and spirit that which it was created to consume, learning how duped we are about a great deal of things, and embracing the joy in the discovery.

Day 8 Step 8 Thankfulness

2011-10-08T08:09:00.000-05:00

It is in my nature to say, I can do it myself, and honestly I think that has what has led me to some of my circumstance. Trying to be too strong, not allowing God to flow through others, to bless. This week has been an incredible week of blessings. A dear friend went into administrative mode when she found out about chemo and wanted to help me with meals. I told her that it would be best during the week of chemo and that after that I would be ok. Well this week was the start of meals and I have been so blessed by everyones generosity, wealth of giving and culinary gifts. Each package uniquely put together, orchestrated with thought, love and care for me and my family. Each day I waited with anticipation of what someone was bringing and who it would be. Is that not how we should be waiting for our Groom, Christ, with hopeful anticipation? Not having to cook is HUGE for me and because I typically am not up to par on the third and fourth days during the week of chemo. At least it has been textbook so far which again thankful. Truly thankful for this blessing.
Can I really say I am thankful in many ways for this time in my life, for the wake up call of breast cancer, for the nearness of God? Yes I can honestly say this has given me an opportunity to understand thankfulness on a new level. This awareness of His presence strengthens me as I receive and respond to His Love. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My need of His love is as constant as the outflow of His Love for me. So, I want to stay tapped into thankfulness, for in that He is real, He is evident and He is available. You know some people might say, "I am just so thankful to God for giving me breast cancer". I believe God permits circumstances that gives us opportunity to draw near to Him, but not the orchestrator of sickness or evil. He uses circumstances to draw near to us. We must be open to drawing near to Him, being thankful of the opportunity to praise Him and respond to His unfailing Love. Have I ever felt abandoned by God? Never. Quite the contrary. It has opened my eyes to a completely different side to my faith and walk with Him. A more open, less judging, more compassionate side that honestly I was lacking. Deficient in my ability to see past a self inflicted barrier that kept me at arms length not only to God but kept me from others. This circumstance has allowed me, His beloved, to behold and take hold and notice that I am a much loved child of God.
"The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. Again you will plant vineyards on the hills of Samaria; the farmers will plant them and enjoy their fruit. There will be a day when watchmen cry out on the hills of Ephraim, Come, let us go up to Zion, to the Lord our God." Jer.31:3-6
This is a direct promise from the Creator of the universe. Considering it all joy when I face trials of many kinds because I know I will be rebuilt, I know that the testing develops perseverance which MUST finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. I witnessed the sweet passing of my mother in law a few years ago. Her hearts desire was to teach us all how to die with dignity. I can truly say that after reading the verse in James she was complete, lacking nothing and went on to be with Jesus in such a way that was a witness to my depleted soul. How can God use us as an extension of who He is if we don't first recognize the gift?

It has not only been the gift of meals, but the occasional card, book, or scarf that comes as another reminder that He is carrying me through this through the gift of others. The power and energy I receive this week was phenomenal from those who took the time to bless our family helped get me through, carrying me on either side, watching my back and lifting me up. Can I walk around like this everyday? The answer is yes if I will open my heart and eyes to the gifts God gives us each and every moment. We serve a God of miracles, who heals the sick and opens blinded eyes. Why would I not think He would care about little ol me and my circumstances? That is my stumbling block that I must jump over, go around and remove from my path to walking in thankfulness. Trusting Him in the little things thanking Him for the big things puts a whole new light on things.
Thank you for an awesome week.

Day 7 Step 7 Some Days

2011-10-07T19:48:00.000-05:00

Some days.....nothing. But that is ok. There is always tomorrow.
See you then.

Day 6 Step 6 Pushing Through

2011-10-06T16:04:00.000-05:00

Today is day four after second round of chemo. Typically days three and four are the hardest for me. It has been somewhat textbook each time. Granted I have only had chemo twice, but this is how it has been. The good news is I am half way done with the worst part. Yes! So I can push on. Pushing on thorugh the hard parts of life are what build tenacity, grit and character. Not sure I want to do any character building at te moment but at any rate it happens if we allow it. If we go against it, the pruning, the building then we really make things much harder for ourselves. It is ok to have moments of not wanting to go with the flow, of not wanting to really show up for chemo (oops I forgot), or coming face to face with something about yourself you know in your heart is true, but you have not wanted to face it. My question is why do I, we, think that going into a hard place where we know we will have to push through that we will be doing it alone? I know my God says He will never forsake me or leave me, so why do I allow myself to feel so alone? Push through. Do I not think God already knew ahead of time. To quote my sweet friend Lorraine Lemon with Art 2 Heart "God long looks, seeing everyday coming and nothing catches Him by surprise. He gives us a meal to match that journey."
I push through this hard couple days knowing tomorrow I have opportunity.
I push through because He encourages to keep our eyes on the prize which is Christ Jesus.
I push thorugh so that I live through all the days of my life.
I push through for there are people I still need to meet.
I push through this God appointed lifestyle trusting He sees my ability and willingness to go.

Carry on my wayward son, there will be peace when you are done, carry on my wayward son, don't you cry no more.
Kansas

Day 5 Step 5 Nearsightedness

2011-10-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

Why is it that when we go through a change in paradigm or spiritual drought that we draw closer to God? Why does it take that to draw us closer to Him? We should be close to Him always, every day. Is it life overbearing? Are we too busy with our lives to thank the One who gave it to us? Now we tend to mess up this life He gave us therefore asking for His forgiveness and help when we do. But not all of us do that. Since becoming a believer I don't think there has been a day I don't think about Him, or thanked Him for something along my days length. Before that time however, my world was a bit myoptic lacking imagination, foresight and intellectual insight. Basically it was nearsightedness. I still have moments where I revert back to my nearsightedness, but God always has a gentle way of bringing me back to Him.
In Luke 18:1-8 Jesus tells His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up when He shares about the Parable of the Persistent Widow. He shares that there is an unjust judge who does not care for God or people. There is a widow who persistently asks for justice in her case but the judge keeps putting her off. Finally, He grants her justice in order to keep her from "wearing me out with her coming". And Jesus said, "And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" How often in our search for justice do we forget how accessible Jesus and the Holy Spirit is to us all the time? How often do we skip the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 that says, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". We must not remain nearsighted about our lives and forget about prayer. That last request from God is sometimes a hard one for me. I am suppose to give thanks in all circumstances....even in breast cancer? Yes always. I have to say that I honestly can give thanks. I have already seen the doors open to healing and God's hand working so mightily all around me in every circumstance. So why did I not see His hand working before? Nearsightedness. I really want to walk in this all the time and when the treatment for this is over I don't want this closeness with God to end......it doesn't have to. It doesn't need to take a paradigm change to draw us closer to Him. He wants to be there with us in the everyday ho hum dull drums of carpooling, laundry, grocery shopping, lawn mowing, hair cutting, dinner cooking and dish washing moments. We have to find God in the everyday moments for that is what makes them exciting. Let His spirit ignite the simplicity of our lives for they are complex enough without circumstances that come and go. In 1 Timothy 2:8 "I desire therefore that the men pray in every place, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and disputing."
So the adage that "Life is short, Pray hard" should not be taken lightly or nearsightedly, but reverently, and thoughtfully. Stepping out in an ability to see outside of ourselves, outside of our little lives, outside of our circumstances brings a whole new perspective about how BIG our God is. In one of my people proverbs "God is so faithful in our little lives through tough times; then we realize how big our lives are to God.....we are blessed."
I heard this yesterday from an online friend, Kim Avery. "Sin, any sin, is incompatible with the holiness of God. And while we may cry inconsolably when the bright, shiny promises of prides and pleasure, security and status, and the passing praise of men are taken away, it is the path to fullness of joy."
Make prayer a priority even in the ho hums and not just in crisis mode. You won't be disappointed.
He promises!

Day 4 Step 4 Changing Latitudes Changing Attitudues

2011-10-04T07:46:00.000-05:00

God says to embrace change though why are we such creatures of habit? Stepping out of what is the norm can be scary, but also very liberating. In Deuteronomy He says "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you (alongside you) that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." Wow this is a promise spoke to us from God. In v. 11 of that same chapter He says "Now what I am commanding you today (each day starts anew) is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.......v.16 to walk in His ways, keep His commands, then you will live and increase and the Lord your god will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." Well the land I am entering to possess is a much healthier land, full of new and wonderful findings for me to discover about myself, my God, this land, this world and this life. Who wouldn't want a new beginning in a sense? Wipe that slate clean and lets start here....now.
The good news about our bodies is that the moment we decide to change and move in a new direction it adapts, it begins to heal and it is highly motivated when the changes are to its benefit. Like I mentioned in Day 3 the fact I only like to write with felt tip pens so I nixed all my pens from my holder except for the ones I wanted in there. I still have to go through and take out each week as others keep putting other types in there.......but don't we have to do that in real life. Evaluate each week, each week, each moment in some cases for me what needs to be eliminated from our lives, declutter and get moving in a direction that feels right, that empowers us to operate at an optimum. Just like the song says "Changes in Latitudes changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same". Even Jimmy Buffet says to embrace change. Life has changes every season so using it as our model to embrace it's ebbing and flowing changes should be our norm. Yet because we like things a certain way and are creatures of habit change can feel out of the norm.
So with that said my subtle changes I immediately made and still making, I got only one shelf of my pantry done yesterday, but hey, there is always today. I went out and bought new flip flops. I know that sounds silly, but I was needing a new pair, I love sparkly things and found these cute pink Reefs. I had a pair of silver ones that I had to throw out and was wanting another pair.

There is so much to learn it really is fun.

So what else did I do? I pulled out my juicer I had tucked away. I have had this juicer for 20 years+ and love it. It is basically an outboard motor attached to a blade, brilliant, so it is easy to maintain and assemble. I have tried other juicers and I guess it is what you get used to, (again habit) and this one is the easiest and fits my lifestyle. I have it out all the time now and use it two if not three times a day. I am wanting to bump it up to four, but taking baby steps to get there. I know one thing I try to do when starting something new is not beat myself up too much if meeting one of my goals for the day doesn't pan out. There is always tomorrow and we do what we can for He gives us no more than what is in our reach. So I am falling in love with my Champion again, the flavors I am discovering......carrot, apple, beet, cucumber still my all time fav, and embracing new discoveries.
Another way I simplified once my hair started falling out is that I went ahead and shaved my head to eliminate any clumps on my pillow that might cause anxiety or sadness. To be honest it was not as hard as it might have seemed and it made me realize that hair is really overrated.

Yet another way to simplify this
process.

I changed up my table scape. Simple but its a change.

This is the sun streaming in from across the room, under the ottoman like the very finger of God acting like it wants to burn a hole in my rug and my leg. So bright, so intense that is was like it reached all the way over just to get my attention. Well it did. So often we go around with blinders on. Make subtle little changes that change a little latitude and a lot of attitude. Little steps that go a great distance. I like this saying today from Real Simple magazine. Enjoy todays step.

“We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ouselves.”

― Lynn Hall

Day 3 Step 3 Keep it Simple

2011-10-03T08:31:00.000-05:00

I have a dear friend I met in Colorado who mothered me when my mother passed. God sent her in my path to model mothering, joy, parenting, peace and marriage. Her motto was "Keep it Simple" especially when it came to the things of God. She would say that we complicate things too much and God is so simple. She is right in so many ways. She is such a sweet friend whom God sent to mother me when my own could not.
One of the areas I saw that needed some attention was my habit to accumulate piles of papers and just stuff. Part of my habit to have a healthier regime work in my favor is to keep life simple, but what I found out was that other areas were not so simple and were cluttered with things that made it feel our of order. I think we are creatures who crave order because God is a God of order and that is how He created us. Wouldn't you agree that things run more peacefully, more smoothly when there is an order? After my surgery I began simplifying my desk area. For starters I only really like to write with felt tip pens, so I took out all pens and markers and mechanical pencils and only have felt tip pens, #2 pencils and sharpies in my desk. It a simple step but so freeing.

Also, I made a bold step and chopped off my hair and went platinum blonde right after my first bag of chemo in anticipation of hair loss and to simplify its maintenance. Again very freeing. I started the new edition of Breaking Free by Beth Moore bible study in preparation of teaching at Christian Womens Job Corp. Even though I have taught this study several times, revisiting it and areas different than before, again liberating. Then the hair started falling out so again, wanted to simplify so asked my husband to shave my head just to get it over with. Again not that hard and very uplifting. This time at home as given me time to not just live with the clutter, but really do something about it. Make things the way I want them that ultimately will bring some peace in the way I go about my day. Isn't that what God wants for us? "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you" John 14:27
My husband is a master at this. I love this about him. He helps me all the time by making a sweep through. Why I am unable to do it myself is beyond me, but sometimes we just need a gentle push or example to get us going. This week....the pantry will be set free.

Day 2 Step 2

2011-10-02T09:25:00.000-05:00

The second step is like a game plan. Sometimes we jump the gun starting a new regime. Sometimes paradigm changes and we are forced to make changes. Sometimes we come along side another's journey and agree to fully understand what they are going through. For whatever reason you are ready for change embrace it not only as a lifestyle but for a lifetime. I lost count of all the health regimes I started, believed in and went for wholeheartedly, but after a while they soon became more of a burden then a relief. I encourage you to examine those other regimes you may have tried, see what worked for you and what did not, and what you liked and disliked about them. Write it down, read it, examine it, weigh the options and decide what to keep for yourself.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer I immediately knew that many things needed to change. Temporary was not an option anymore, it had to be permanent changes to keep cancer at bay. I turned to the internet, friends, books, and my doctor for advice, making my list to examine. I was setting up a game plan. I knew many things that it would need to include, but wanted to know more without it being something that was unrealistic for my lifestyle. At the same time, if the best thing for me is to juice six times a day, guess what I will adapt. One of the best resources in books I have found that yes, talks about cancer, but I think can be applied to healthy lifestyles is Patrick Quinlan's book "Beating Cancer with Nutrition" My point is when choosing a regime independently from a medical issue make sure it fits your lifestyle or that you can adapt your lifestyle to the new regime. Be realistic.
For me juicing has been a part of my eating for a long time, so when juicing was named a big proponent to fighting cancer I pulled my old juicer out. I have owned a Champion juicer for over 20 years and have dabbled with it for months at a time then would put it away. Some of it was the putting away and pulling out of the machine. Now I have made room for it and keep it out like the coffee machine and the toaster. Another change, I am scheduling to have reverse osmosis water put in where my sprayer is at my sink. Also, I asked my doctor what kind of supplements I should and could take before during and after chemo. A list of them is in my archive post here "Saying No to Chemo" . I have cut sugar, which feeds cancer, dairy and wheat almost completely out of my diet. Those were my first initial steps that were drastic enough to kick start, encourage me with results right away, and really made me feel so much better. There is a song by Amy Grant (click to listen) that says ,"I have decided to live like a believer, turn my back on the deceiver, I'm gonna live what I believe." You have to decide to believe in your regime and turn your back on the belief or lie that you are not capable. The human body can do so much more than we give it credit for, food for and insight for. What will your game plan look like? Map it out. See you tomorrow.

Day 1 Step 1

2011-10-01T07:44:00.000-05:00

You know the first thing to taking a 31 day challenge is to decide to take the first step. This will be a series of steps to help those who are dealing with health issues, want to upgrade their eating habits or just want to share this with someone else who might need it. Whatever reason you landed here I am glad you did.
In my people proverbs I made up this little saying, "The first step toward something is a step towards everything". Anything is possible when we decide in our minds to move forward. If we sit there and look at the train that is not moving, go round and round it, but never get it moving, guess what? That train will not be leaving the station. But if you get the train moving, getting help if you need to get it moving and jump on board I think you will find it is not as hard as you think. A positive thinker always has his/her eyes on the prize.
So what is your prize, your goal, your first step toward, what? To be honest, mine is to complete this challenge I have laid out for you every single day. That is huge for me. I hope I can live up to the task. I am already late getting it posted. Yikes! The fact you are here reading this blog in order to better your lifestyle says a great deal about you as a person, your character and your willingness to step out of your comfort zone. So often we take steps towards something but we don't break free from the strongholds or chains that bind us and keep us from reaching our goals. We seem to just pick those chains back up, believing in a lie that you are not capable of meeting your goal. We beat ourselves up with our own chains. I can not do it for you and you have to want it bad enough. How big is your want to? How badly do you want it? That can be a motivator for starters, but soon as you reap the benefits of your hard work, you will soon replace plain tenacity with lifestyle. Congratulations you have made the first step. See you tomorrow.

Pretty in Pink | Hereâ€™s to Mom!

2011-09-29T16:59:00.000-05:00

Pretty in Pink | Hereâ€™s to Mom!

31 Day Walk to Wellness

2011-09-28T23:36:00.000-05:00

I am starting a 31 day walk to wellness during the month of October to raise awareness about breast cancer. Walking through my own diagnosis has been challenging at best, emotional at its worst and informative every step of the way. Our bodies are such unique, willing, impressive, capable, skilled, gifted, adept, efficient, experienced, talented and useful vehicles we have been given to better health. When we give our bodies the right tools, food and supplements with time we see the amazing witness it can be of God's handiwork and blessing of how He created us.

Genesis 9:3

Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.

I don't claim to be a doctor or nurse or any kind of medical professional. I am a mom who has dabbled in homeopathic and natural remedies for years. You might ask then why did you get breast cancer? I can not answer that except to say why do people get colds? If I had been consistent since I was born with eating organic, not exposing myself to the environment and taking supplements then maybe I might not have, but I also might have had to live in a bubble all this time. What I have learned and practiced over the years has and is leading me here for such a time as this in my life. Trying remedies and listening to those talking about natural cures doesn't scare me or seem far fetched because the learning curve is not that great. I have been learning about it all this time, storing up for this time in my life. It is very familiar information so I am craving to learn more.

So my attempt this month will be to post each day, a challenge in itself, something I have learned, and I am still learning to pass on to you. I give it to you in hopes that if you know someone who might benefit you can share it, you might adapt some of the treatments for yourself and your family, or just read along to see where I am with it all. I am gathering information all the time and excited to share it with you this month. I hope it helps you in some way.

My New Year Begins

2011-09-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

Most people's year starts Jan 1st with lots of New Year's resolutions, it's when calendars start and when most people gauge as the New Year. My New Year started Sept 12, 2011 when my chemo started. I have been hinging lots of things off this date and it finally came. I was a little anxious I won't lie about what to expect, how the day would go almost like anticipating the year 2000 when everyone thought it would be the end as we know it. Well in a way my life will never be the same again and it is sort of the end of an era as I have known it, but it is all for the better. Being diagnosed with breast cancer sort of stops most things in their tracks, but it has not stopped life from moving down the tracks. I am blessed to be living in an age where technology is what it is, medicine is what it can be and reconstruction of the anatomy is bionic as far as I am concerned. I can not wallow in my symptoms looking only at what has happened, but marvel at the unique way God scooped me out of the miry clay and has given me a new resolution, a new revolution within and a new conviction of the heart. No longer what I thought important is, what matters doesn't and what could be is in the forefront of my mind.

So I go in for my port placement and it is a lot of waiting, everyone was really nice but they could tell I was anxious as I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I was called in to answer a bunch of questions before surgery and I could tell this young nurse had asked these questions a thousand times. Nurse: Do you have any hearing problems or devices in your ears? (Without missing a beat) Me: Huh? Nurse: Do you have.....then she realized I was kidding around with her to crack a smile. Me: I got you. Nurse: Yes you did, that was a good one. So from that point on I felt more relaxed, more like a person instead of a number and less like a machine. So the placement went well. I had heard the doctor sings during surgery, so I asked him what he was going to sing.....he replied, "it is not what it is who" and he began to name off all these singers. Tony Bennett is who I picked so as I went rolling down the hallway I drifted off, he sang, "My Funny Valentine". He told me later he sang "The Shadow of Your Smile" but I never heard that one. I am sure it was lovely. So then it was time to see my oncologist before I started chemo. I was still a bit loopy and think that may have worked to my advantage. By the time I got into my little room to start it was 5pm. I had all these tubes hooked up to my port. They began to show me all the bags some small, some big, some that would make my pee turn red, some with saline and some with....the STUFF. My eyes filled up with tears as I knew this was the beginning. It had finally come. It was going in my body and I could not stop it. It was like, "O gosh o gosh" really loud on the inside. At the same time the nurse was so sweet and said "we are going to give you something for the anxiety and all those tears will disappear" they sure did......poof. Praise God for Ativan. It also makes you sleepy so off I went getting my 1st installment of the plan and woke up when it was done. I slept through the entire thing. I did not have to stay awake. Another Praise God.

From the beginning of this entire adventure as you may have read, God has been faithful with me even when I have been afraid, even when I wanted to bolt, even when I have said no, even when I did not lean on Him. He waited so patiently for me, teaching me through circumstances, crossing people in my path to reassure me, and just was for me not against me. It was I who was going against the grain until I realized He is always right. What was I thinking? It was a host of other obstacles trying to think for me t keeping me out of His peace and in fear. Don't get me wrong I am stilling bouncing around figuring it out as I go, but I know I am not alone. James 4: 6-8 "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says; "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

So Happy New Year to me as I document my year long journey hoping what I might share with others will help in their own walks. As you can see my first step to this New Year was to get a new look. I figured if I was going to loose my hair I might as well have some fun with it. Every mans dream to have a platinum blonde and every woman's fantasy to do it.....can't believe I had the nerve to go for it....I feel so free.

Saying NO to Chemo

2011-08-26T00:08:00.003-05:00

I thought this would get your attention and might even raise a few eyebrows. It's not what you think so keep reading. It has been a while since I have written because frankly I have not been in a good frame of mind. Although I don't always have to be in the right frame of mind to write. I knew you would understand. I also believe there will be good days and not so good days considering. Since my surgery, diagnosis and recovery I have been concentrating on just that. Getting stronger. Resting in the shadow of the Father's wings as much as I can. Part of my discovery was I found it very amazing how little time I spent just being with the Lord, alone. To be honest I think it was much like my life, on the go and catch as catch can. Well that all changed July 8th when the doc came into the room and said, "It's breast cancer". Dang really?, was my first and immediate thought. Then the onslaught of images, thoughts, concerns, misunderstandings, fear, misconceptions, and worry began to bounce inside my head. Like a ping pong ball it would hit one side then bounce around and around off each side. So I just let it bounce weighing all of it and giving all of it to God as best I could.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I have been an avid believer in homeopathic and natural meds and treatments for years. So it was obvious for me to look into this sort of treatment. I would even blurt out on occasion, "if I ever had cancer I am heading to Canada or Mexico". At first I was considering that I had two options for treatment. The traditional and the homeopathic through nutrition and supplements. The traditional side had all the facts, numbers and stats on their side whereas the other did not. The non-traditional had testimonials of proof that people had been healed, but still not much medical data. This concerned me and my family, rightfully so, and with the aggressiveness of my type of cancer, I struggled with my decision. I decided to get a second opinion at MD Anderson. They ran me through a battery of tests to see if the cancer had formed anywhere else in my body......gratefully all clear. The doctor there described the cancer as a dandelion. We have killed the plant, now we have to go after any seeds that slipped through the lymph nodes. So here is what I decided......to do what I could to marry the two and use what I know to aide in my recovery.
Once I was on my feet again after surgery I began a juice regime and supplement regime to slow down any cancer that might be left behind. Cutting sugar, dairy and wheat from my diet was also key. I saw my primary care physician who put me on a great supplement routine consisting in Flax Oil, Fish Oil, CoQ10 (which actually slows down cancer growth), Brocco Protect (derivative of broccoli), Preventive Ten, and Meriva Sr. I put myself on Essiac Tea concentrate from Canada, Magnesium, Maitake Mushroom extract, Colodial Silver, Probiotic, Kavinace and Calunduala and Arnica for healing bruising and wounds. Plus I was juicing two to three times a day eating only vegetables and only fish and chicken and wild game for red meat. I felt strong, healthy and like I could take this on myself. Thinking I can do this. Again all about ME.
Then came the realization in my families eyes that they were not on board with the idea and thought it selfish of me to consider anything else than traditional treatment. I saw the fear in their eyes. Then I read something from The Holy Experience that sent up a little flag for me. Sometimes what we hear isn’t what’s being said. I had to repent. What I was hearing in my head was what I wanted to do, but not necessarily what God wanted me to do. I fought hard to hang onto some sort of control........CONTROL. That was the lesson Lord?.....OOOO ok. I get it now. I had already had one lesson in that when I had to let go after my surgery. In the hands of my caretakers being blessed yet going from feeling out of control crying to uncontrollable laughter.....sowing in tears reaping in joy manifested.
So began the process. How do I marry this feeling of wanting to do what I can to help my body with what I knew I had to do...... chemo. I was still trying to make it about me and not giving all of it to God. It felt like I had jumped into a fast moving stream and there was nothing to grab onto. It was a scary. I decided to walk with God through all the doors He opened, hunting and gathering as much material as I could, but came to a point where even all the info was too much and it was over saturating my brain. For about three weeks it felt like I could not breathe. With the reconstruction going on in my chest and literally not being able to breathe, I took refuge in God. I kept His promises close and tried not to clutter anymore of my life, my thoughts or my time. I rearranged furniture, cleaned out drawers and closets and felt as though that would help somehow aide in my uncluttering my mind. It did not. I was still stuck in the stream trying to go against the current til one day I decided to go with the flow and picked up my legs and began to float downstream.
Then came the week at MD Anderson. Floating through tests, scans, pokes, prods, x-rays, barium drinking, blood drawing, iodine light me up tests that took two days. Then I drove to New Orleans, because O yes I am planning a wedding in all this, to finalize floral designs and table scapes. Then back to MDA for more tests and results.
Monday was result day so go through the usual, vital signs, nurse assessment, fellow doctor visit, then doctor discussions. During my visit with one of the doctors on the team, I broke down, shut down, refuse to hear, rebelled and whatever else you want to call it. I was done and ready to bolt. Once again looked into my families eyes and knew I was trying to do it myself again, feeling that fast moving stream with nothing to grab on to. I wanted (again there is that ME CONTROL) to wait til after the wedding to start chemo.   Did I not learn to let that go to God already after surgery? Why did I pick it back up again? When things in your life feel so out of control even the illusion of control or some semblance of it helps. Even though I know in my heart God is in control of everything.   They said they liked to start at a certain point in time after surgery and wanted to start that day, or I could wait, BUT ( it was a Big But) I had to make that decision. It made me feel as though the decision I was making to wait was not an ok one. I needed them to tell me it was ok to wait or that I needed to start right away. They couldn't (or wouldn't...it's what they are trained to do).
I shut down.
Finally my regular doctor came in and asked, "How are the wedding plans, how was New Orleans" like I was a real person. Listen, don't misunderstand, I know these guys are so smart and so grateful they are on my team. She came over to me and said, " I hear you are struggling with something. If we start now you will not have hair for the wedding." I told her I did not care about that. What I did care about was feeling good emotionally and physically for the wedding. I just did not know how I was going to react to the chemo. Then Labor day weekend was in there and they still had to do more tests and pre-op which would throw off my schedule, so asked if there was any reason she knew why I could not wait til after. I want this wedding to be about my daughter and not about ME ( there it is again).
Finally a branch was extended out into the fast moving stream and I found something I could grab ahold of when my doctor said, "I tell you what, I wouldn't let you start chemo today anyway, you are not ready and you need to be ready. So go have your wedding and we will start right after". I asked worst case scenario if there were still cancer cells in my body would the chemo get it even if I wait and she said yes, the chemo WILL get it. Somewhere in that conversation my heart and my mind finally connected and I felt peace.
What a gift that was for me that day. I can now blend together the homeopathic and nutrition, continue to juice and help my body before and through treatment and come out much stronger in the long run. Thank you Lord. On our way home from Houston, William said to me, "You're back. I was worried about you there for three weeks ". I told him I was worried too, but trusted the Lord in the process.
So now I say
NO to chemo taking my life
NO to chemo separating me from family
NO to chemo damaging any part other than the cells it is suppose to get
NO to chemo having lasting affects on my organs
NO to chemo taking more of a role in my days ahead
NO to chemo keeping me from serving God
NO to chemo distracting me from what Jesus wants
NO to chemo stripping time
NO to chemo weakening The spirit within me
NO to chemo divorcing the marriage of nutrition and supplements as part of my treatment
YES to chemo getting in, getting out and get'er done. Amen. 2 Cor. 12: 7-10

What's Up Doc?

2011-07-26T10:49:00.001-05:00

Frozen in time this picture is, but this bunny on the median of a subdivision was frozen hoping not to be noticed by us. That is just how I have felt for the past two weeks. FROZEN. Not knowing many things about my prognosis, treatment and outcome of my diagnosis just seems to freeze my steps. Because every day gets a bit better I can let my guard down just a bit allowing me to move forward with baby steps. With hands lifted (gently) starting to believe I am a survivor and what I am made of because He put it there.
So what's up doc, was last Wednesday when I got the word of discovery. Yesterday was meet the new doc day, Dr. Rebecca Barrington, and I can honestly say, I LOVE HER! She listens, she explains, she wants, she empowers, she is passionate, she prays, she hugs, she laughs, she takes the time for each one, she cares and she is here where I live, for such a time as this in my life. Thank you God. Sept 13th starts chemo then radiation to follow. I already have our Christmas card designed.....on my head!

Staying pretty close to home. With my peeps close at hand, helping, overwhelming community outpouring, and being able to feel the strength in numbers, I recover. Relinquishing control, accepting help from others, and recognizing my limitations has never been long suits of mine. I have had a mindset that I can do most anything myself, without help. Selfish really. The healing has begun in me to love the way love is intended to be.....a gift of giving AND receiving. Realizing how little I knew of my Savior and excited how much He has in store for me. I believe I will receive as I achieve. No longer feeling like I am hanging on by my nails, which need manicuring I might add, I feel confidently assured of decisions made as the Holy Spirit's leading has not led me astray, to the very place I need to be, in His rest. What does all that mean? I am resting as I am working hard to press onward? Seems like an oxymoron actually, but somehow the resting is part of the work. A quieting in my self to make time for God's handiwork to have its way in me. Step aside He is coming through and boy will He ever come through....always.
Faith is not that God can.....it is knowing He will.
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You , for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."
Ps 139: 13-14 I feel His covering, His weaving the lining and fabric to this story, this journey, this incredible opportunity to praise Him and see His glorious works manifesting all around me. Who wouldn't want that, I mean really? More Lord, I desire more of You every day as prayer shawl wraps itself around every prayer spoken and knitted into each thread. This too will be a unique shawl that I will wear for only a while, but will not be my legacy for He has known all along.
So a trip to Barnes and Noble and I feel as though I am getting geared up for the battle. A journal to document, a dry erase to hang outside so people can leave notes if I am resting when they come by, a 2012 little calendar book that starts in June to keep appointments etc, a book about using nutrition as a weapon and lastly the only pretty cookbook I could find in the entire store with pictures and recipes for fighting cancer in the kitchen. Of course it did dawn on me......maybe I should write my own cookbook. First dinner party will be all about pink. After all the treatment plan is throwing the kitchen sink at me, thank you God I love to do dishes and there is no other place I'd rather be than in the kitchen. The spiritual nourishment I have consumed already is lacking nothing in wisdom and grace.

THE HEALING HAS BEGUN!

Fighting Fire with Fire

2011-07-23T19:53:00.000-05:00

This photo is magical to me. I see lots of things. A Love, God heart at the base, a person standing tall with right hand extended pressing on and away from evil nipping. What do you see?

Whenever anyone gets the news of cancer their world seems to STOP. That was my world two weeks ago today. Breast cancer. STOP. Surgery. STOP. Mastectomy. STOP. Chemo. STOP. Suddenly I was forced to STOP. Taking the news pretty well, trying to be brave and strong knowing what I had to do, I pressed on into the dark unknown, trusting God, seeing God all around as decisions had to be made, but still feeling out of control on the inside. Stinking thinking thoughts came into my head like, what if I die, o gosh people will come to my house and its not clean, maybe people will read my journals, I want to be a grandmother, I don't have time for this, I have a wedding to plan, is this really me they are talking about, this is gonna hurt, how will I keep up with my old life, I am racked with fear, and I feel so out of control. Round and round and round it went in my head like a bad record that has a scratch and it kept skipping and skipping. Til finally I was able to let it go.
It was Friday after I got home from the hospital and I was so racked with fear, so afraid the people I love would not know how to take care of me, one who is a nurse, HELLO! I broke down into the deepest most healing wail of a cry that I have ever experienced in my whole life. On and on I cried from down deep in the depths of my gut it came rushing out. Filling my lungs with air forcing out any worry, any hurt, and fear and any doubt. Then something really strange happened. My sowing in tears suddenly turned to reaping in joy. I began to uncontrollably laugh. Everything and anything anyone said I would burst into laughter. Needless to say my children who were there thought I had flipped my lid, but then they too began to laugh. It was the best medicine anyone could have given me and I wish I could wake up every day like that. So cleansing, so deep and reassuring that God is in charge and I can let go of all my burdens to Him. It was what needed to happen if I was to move forward on this spiritual journey, not just a medical journey.
Everywhere I went leading up to my surgery God had both my hands in His. It takes us sometimes a world stopping moment to open our eyes and ears to see that He is all around me. He introduced me to women who could help me on this journey before I was even diagnosed with Lingerie Line (see vimeo in previous post), crossed my path with women who went through exactly what I was about to up at Laity Lodge, played the song Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys as I walked into So Fast Printing to wrapped up wedding invitations, He placed all the right nurses and doctors to take care of me during surgery and has brought a new light into our family causing grace and peace to reside. Already blessing after blessing of His faithfulness. He provided every step of the way leading up to, through and I know He will beyond. He provided a caretaker for those taking care of me in my sweet brother in law, he provided ways and means for some of my children to be with me, He gave my husband an understanding boss and job where flexibility is in his job description, He provided a sister who's loving hands knew exactly where to touch with healing balm that washed over me like anointing oil, He gave me a community that covered me in so much prayer I felt like I was carried with each new step I took. God is teaching me how to respond to His Love. Spiritual journeys often start with brokenness, loss, struggle, but it always leads to a deeper awareness of His presence. My questions to God about why this is happening don't keep me from following, submitting, worshipping and loving God. It has giving me a taste of the freedom in joy I desire. I want the fullness of God, but how often do I resist the path He takes me on to receive it. If only I were more willing more often I would benefit from this joy in my life. I must keep learning how to surrender to what really matters. Suffering (God's gift) is the only thing that can strip us of our ego. He can't use me if I don't allow Him everywhere, everything, everyone. I have to let others be the body of Christ, wrapping me, caring for me, buckling my belt, washing my wounds, being the hands and feet of Jesus, pushing me forward, supplying me with kindling and showing me His Love.
The pathology news was good, nothing new, nothing unidentifiable, so we could all exhale once the doctor's words were out of his mouth. Tumor was 2.7 cm, contained, stage 2, only two nodes effected that were not bundled or sticky, and I can wait til after the wedding to start chemo. Who knows maybe I won't lose all my hair. I have enough of it. I am confident that this will get out whatever cancer remains in my body, fighting fire with fire. Much like forest firefighters they sometimes have to start a fire in order to stop a fire. My fire comes from above and will be a covering, burning away the chaff allowing new growth. A fire so big that it will light up the sky within my heart. A fire that sends a signal to the heavens and all those around me that I am battling a war that rages within that is being contained and extinguished by the very healing Hand of God. He and I will push through the flames and the smoke filled rooms making sure every corridor, every chamber and every cell is not left uncovered.

The fresh wind of God's Spirit will keep the flames going till His work is complete in me. He will use this for His Glory, His purpose under heaven, and His delight will be my reflection. I am ready with hopeful anticipation the battle that is just over the hill knowing I am fully armed, fully equipped and stocked for the months ahead to meet and greet whatever dead wood that needs clearing, whatever piles of leaves that need mulching and whatever fires that need to be set in order to stop the fire from spreading. Forgetting what lies behind and setting my eyes on the prize......Jesus who will be walking through the flames with me, just like Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego in Daniel 1-3.
I was always the designated fire starter when camping, in our fireplace and at my boarding school lounge, so the love of a good fire and the ability to keep a fire going, I guess you could say, has been a gift.
A little song I remember from Camp Mystic:
Here we are all together as we sing our song joyfully
Here we are all together as I pray we'll always be.
Join we now as friends to celebrate the coming of the Lord thankfully
Keep the fires burning tender them with care as we all join in and sing......
repeat.

The Secret Garden/Lingerie Line

2011-07-11T08:29:00.000-05:00

This is my interview about a unique boutique called The Secret Garden in Fredericksburg, TX that is the host for Lingerie Line for better breast care specializing in the most feminine wear after breast surgery. With my recent diagnosis the timing of this meeting could only have been orchestrated by God. He is always faithful.

Answer these two questions for a chance to win the giveaways:
Giveaways
A Liz James necklace that I am wearing int he video LizJames.com A sampling of gifts for someone you may know going through breast cancer or for you yourself from Lingerie Line.

Questions:
1. How many years has Kathy been in business with the Secret Garden?
2. What Mexico city does Jennifer go to with Lingerie Line?

The first to email me both right answers wins both prizes......btc1959@mac.com

Semper Fi....Always Faithful.

2011-07-10T15:04:00.000-05:00

This saying that is so near and dear to our US Marine Corp, Semper Fi, meaning "Always Faithful" is becoming near and dear to my heart for various reasons......one my sweet son in law is a Marine,secondly I have been diagnosed with breast cancer and thirdly I know my God is always faithful. My prayer for my surgery is much like the USMC, get in, get out and get it done. I will undergo surgery on Wed morning of this next week. My request from you, my friends, is that God would protect my lymph nodes and the rest of my body. I have a wedding to plan and I plan on being there. PERIOD.

Taken from the movie Remember the Titans when coaches little girl says, "Not gonna lie, I wanted Hall of Fame real bad".... well not gonna lie, this stinks, not gonna lie I am scared and fear like a bully is trying to rob me of my peace. God is in charge. He will have a glorious story to tell and those of you who know me I love to tell a good story. It will not define me, I will still be me and it is just body parts that have done their job and did it well. I am happy to give them up if it means they save my life. Life giving a second go round in many ways as only God can orchestrate. A second life, a rebirth and a colostrum of blessing that is part of His promise.

In Jesus Calling for July 7th: " Trust Me in all your thoughts. I know that some thoughts are unconscious or semiconscious and I do not hold you responsible for those. But you can direct conscious thoughts much more than you may realize. Practice thinking in certain ways----trusting Me, thanking Me----and those thoughts become more natural. Reject negative or sinful thoughts as soon as you become aware of them. Don't try to hide them from Me; confess them and leave them with Me. Go on your way lightheartedly. This method of controlling your thoughts ( taking captive to Christ) will keep your mind in My Presence and your feet on the path of Peace."

This song has really been helpful to know that God WILL make me stronger through all of this. Listen to it and enjoy. Maybe you are dealing with a giant wave in your life.....I trust, I believe He will make you stronger. Click on the name to take you to the video on YouTube.

Stronger by Mandisa

This is just what I needed to read, just what I needed to listen to. Holding my hand already, God is evident in every step I am taking. I know and trust God with this challenge set before me as He will walk with me, and gives me only what He knows I can handle. Semper Fi!

I appreciate your prayers and will get back with you with a good report as soon as I am able.

Vimeo of Birthfeet Day

2011-07-03T11:18:00.000-05:00

This is a tribute to those who wear their birthfeet everyday and the efforts of Soles4Souls.

Hello my name is.......

2011-06-13T23:38:00.000-05:00

We have all seen them. You know the ones that say "Hello, my name is........" then you are to write your name in the blank space. The blank space? Does my heart feel like a blank space? Who is this person whose name I am writing in the blank space? What name do I identify myself with? Whose name is written on my heart. Is Jesus' name there? The Good Shepherd has given each of us a name, He knows His sheep by name, and they know His voice. Is there a name that perhaps I have believed about myself that is a lie like I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, too fat, too old, shy, angry, or a host of others? Can I write the name He has given me in the blank space?
Recently, I came to a greater understanding of this ongoing discovery of who Christ is in my life, who I am in Christ and who's name is written there. Where Jesus is, there is no room for doubt, fear, anger, jealousy, pride, or anything other than the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. I can just tell you there has been some bad fruit I have believed. The only way I could stop seeing and believing the lie was to start seeing and believing how God sees me. Then and only then am I able to start changing from the inside out. I am who He created me to be even with some missing gaps that I am learning to resolve, learning to deal with as they come up and learning to discern whether it is truth or lie. And most of all learning to fill in with Him.
When you are in the wild and out in nature birds have a certain call. It is how they identify each other and communicate with one another. We too have a call on our life from God to listen as He has identified us as His own and communicate with Him so that He can help us. If I believe the lie what am I believing my life to be called to? He is the solid ground, the Holy ground on which I am able to stand. All other ground, all other names, all other lies are sinking sand. He gives me the confidence I need to stand and say, "Hello my name is Barbara, child of God, daughter to the King, relative to the Creator of the universe, heir according to His promise, seed of Abraham, bought with a price, washed by His blood, held by His hand, my name written in the book of life and raised into glory through His victory. When I believe this is who He sees me as, knowing He is the Name above all Names and is living in my heart then I can believe that about myself. Not in a self righteous way but in a rest assured way that when asked I will not be ashamed of the Name of Jesus.
I thought it would be an interesting exercise to see when I went into a restuarant and they ask for the name of my party to give them Christ or Jesus as my name. Then when it was time for my name to be called, "Jesus your table it ready" and see how it is received. You know there is actual power in His Name? The demons flee in the presence of His Name. It used to make me uncomfortable to be around people who would talk about Jesus, say His name all the time and I couldn't figure out why. As time went on and I drew closer to Him, it did not bother me so much in fact it was healing to hear His name, it brought comfort and was like hearing the name of an old friend. But why did I squirm......it wasn't me squirming, but the strongholds within me, the sin foothold in my life that couldn't stand to be in the presence of His name. The more I am able to peel layer upon layer of the old name tags, when they lose their stickiness and hold on my life the more His Name is revealed. It is not over and I am still in process. It's a big onion. Sometimes that means lots of tears that reap/usher in Joy.
When I got overwhelmed with my kids and I did not know what to do and wanted to yell, I would go in the closet of my room with a pillow and just scream His Name. Somehow it helped to pass whatever was trying to rob me and my children of joy. When I did not know what to pray I would just say His Name over and over. I felt like I was so unprepared in early motherhood, and I felt out of control. Kids, when they are born, don't come with little instruction tags on their toes, so had to wing it much of the time. I had great kids and an incredible husband, so that helped.....A LOT! They helped me get through it and so did Jesus.
When I am faced with something new, overwhelming or a challenge, I can NOT rely or call upon my own name, but the Name of Jesus. The more I put this into practice the more He reveals to me His Name and what it means to be tagged with it.
So I challenge you, write His name upon your heart, call upon the name of Jesus and get tagged cause......tag He's it.

Birthday Week, Birth Feet: Soles4Souls

2011-06-01T00:03:00.000-05:00

There are so many causes I could get behind. Too many in fact. Something about Soles4Souls grabbed my heart from the beginning and has not let go. Is it my love for shoes? I do love shoes. Is it the fact that every 7 seconds S4S is able to place a pair of shoes on a child or adults feet. To me that is staggering. Or is it the amount of waste we have in our land fills due to shoes, over 300 million pairs a year, leaving a huge, pardon the pun, footprint? I guess the more I become familiar with S4S the more I learn that I/we have much to learn about helping others, preserving our resources, and the impact one person can have in our world.

God's word says, "Just one of us can set a thousand to flight". Duet. 32:30

Wayne Elsey had a divine appointment with an image on a television of a single shoe that had washed up on shore. Leaving the known into the unknown and starting this organization has proved that Almost Isn't Good Enough, the title of his new book. The more I see the more I want to do.
For me it seemed like an easy thing to do. It is something I already own, something I already have and need to weed out occasionally. So, giving them away knowing how much good they will do, well just blesses my shoes off. I am literally taking that to feet and heart and ask you to consider to do the same.

June 5th is my birthday and I will be meeting the challenge of Soles4Souls Barefoot month that starts June 1st. I may not be able to go an entire month without shoes, but on June 5th I will be going back to my birth feet and have a very Happy Birthfeet Day. Here is a Vimeo video I made all about Soles4Souls.
I went and got my toes all gussied up, as they say in the South, for my special day.

I encourage all of you to join in for a day, part of a day, for an hour in a day or donate $1 =ing 1 pair of shoes for someone. Lets get our feet dirty so that someone else can walk a mile in our shoes......

Why Do We Live?

2011-05-19T12:03:00.001-05:00

Perhaps I should start here. Maybe over here is better. Underneath over there needs attention, my attention, but so does that over yonder. Starting at the beginning, right where I am standing, will be best. Just as the stirrings occur in the atmosphere, so has my heart for disaster relief. I don't really know where this need to help out began, but trust it begins in God's heart and is transferred to mine. My mother had a big heart to help others and she modeled that with her giving. Helping others because you get to and not because you have to is the greatest blessing received and given. Even though I felt I had to go to Tuscaloosa, AL, as if to satisfy a driving need in me, I came to realize it is more to satisfy the driving need God asks of me and is urging me to do. Extending grace to others is one of the greatest gifts people allow us to do for them. I struggle with receiving, but I witnessed His Love extended as people received trust, as they watched and learned, choking back the devastation that broke their lives. "I have to trust those who make the decisions on my behalf", one woman said. Such a simple concept, yet the greatest commandment we are asked by God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding....." Prov. 3:3 When I follow this, a freedom to do and go where He leads is uninhibited.

Three weeks into it and much had already been done. The scab that remained was beginnning to peel away what lay underneth. New life, new beginnings, new creation. When I stood in one yard seeing through to the next yard, the next neighborhood, the next hillside that once was blocked by trees, residents, and brush strokes of planned communities, I did not know where to begin as if the power of this storm suddenly brought on attention deficit. Looking forward I see destruction, looking behind destruction, looking north, south, east and west it was all around, destruction. Yet, I was taught by a few good Friday men and Samaritans Purse, to stay on the task at hand, be thankful to God for the opportunity to serve Him and to appreciate the why's. Why did this house get hit and this one did not? Why did we live and others did not?

Unsettling as twister's beginnings are, that happened right where I was standing then moved on, so was the task at hand to pick up the pieces. And there were lots of pieces to pick up. Cinch by the inch, a little here, a lot there, and nothing over yonder and feeling the pain of the stain left behind. Shoring up the holicaust that spread its tormenting vapor like a blender emptied upon the land. Life is going on for those who witnessed the rampage rage of destruction and power of winds that sucked the life from lives, ears and pipes from shaded hillside treetop manors. What was once the norm is now far from normal and seems more like survival. Twice baked from disaster some give up, others don't. God says "Do not fear, for I am with you" Is. 41:10 even when it doesn't look like it.

After finally clearing away the limbs the house behind revealed.

Frank Sinatra's That's Life is playing. A familiar tune as I eat in my comfortable booth wrapping around me in temporary comfort of the here and now. "Pick yourself back up and get back in the race"......is it a race? Is it? There was no race set before us, just time. Lots of time to press on wondering when will be the last stoop, the last haul, the last shovel, the calm restored and life as they know it. Well we don't know it, He does. Keeping my eyes on the prize, God is able to exchange calamity for restoration. Their lives will be different, never the same, reborn into something new, the chaff burned away, flowing like rain, darkness swept away letting His flame burn to glorify His Name. I know I will never be the same again.

I woke this morning sore from the pulling of limbs. Little scratches remain on my arms for a few days reminding me of my time there. A small and insignificant price to pay. My limbs pulling the limbs tangled and ensnared by thorns, buildings and rubble. Limbs that had to be cut to relieve the crush of a shed, a house, a car, a life, a town. Pulling, sometimes dragging heaps of vines hee-hawing our way to the curb as we all worked together with ropes attached like mules, dragging, pulling, heaving, burning, ripping as I felt the glory of the cross......like Christ as He pulled His cross through town, down the road and up the hill. He did that for us, we do that for Him for them. They did not plan for this, but He teaches us that in His plan, His death on the cross, His Grace extended to be the hands and feet for others.....we live.

Flying

2011-04-22T01:13:00.000-05:00

I once loved it. Then all of a sudden I stopped. I attributed it to having children who depended on me, or at least was convinced by someone that may be why I did not like it anymore. Flying, my dad always said, was safer than driving, but lately with all the air traffic controllers.....falling asleep, HEELLLOOO......This has not helped my confidence in this mode of transportation.
It's raining outside. The first of its kind in months. Drought. Put the fires out in Texas please dear rain. Dear God. The sky is lighting up with thunderous strobes that remind me again.....glad I am not flying. I want to sit outside and just watch and listen. I recorded it once on video after 100 some odd days of no rain.....just so I could remember what it sounded like, what it looks like and enjoy it when the earth thirst again. I have to go out.....I will be right back.

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I am back from visiting the rain. Marvelous just to stand and listen, smell and receive. What a delightful shower mix with light flickering like extinguishing bulb. Window shaking thunder of kettle drum strength and sound like shaking sheets of metal that interrupt the applauding rain. It approaches and the wind picks up, the trees do their welcome dance as it moves on by overhead. Cool air covers like a blanket chills swiftly breathing in and out. One last crash finale as the miles come between us. Softer, soothing, reassuring rest and restoring flow. A gift interpretation.....a gift interruption of my nightly ritual of bedtime routine. Singing me to sleep whirling. Blessing me home.
Rain has nothing to do with flying, but everything to do with weather, therefore does have something to do with flying cause you shouldn't fly in bad weather. Or at lease I don't think you should. And most of the time flights are delayed because of rain, snow, wind, fog, and even volcanic ash. I do convince myself on flights sometimes that they fly airplanes into hurricanes to collect data.....ok so it helps. Which brings me to my point.....finally no more delays.....the point, the take off and perhaps the landing. I don't like flights that are not direct. The up down process is not my favorite. Just get me up where I need to go and take me down. That'll do.
Sometimes however, God needs us to go up, then come down, then go back up, then come down and up again til we finally reach our destination.....home with Him. I asked myself this last trip why I limit myself sometimes to the places God wants to take me? It may look like up down up down to me, but it may be exactly how and where He wants me to go. Am I too afraid to trust God even when I have to fly in bad weather? When storms come do I take flight or do I just stay put? Do I run to Him for cover and stand safely in the storm knowing He loves me, protects me, comforts me, and provides for me as I draw near to him keeping my eyes open in the storm to see what it is He will teach me. I am so not in control and He is. He is in control of the rain and the storms. Flying is different than it used to be when I was little and trusted more.
Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matt. 18:3-4
O that I could be humbled more by the gracious gift of the storms that are longing to take me flying with Him. He will be the wind beneath my wings. I know I know don't say it, but I know you are thinking it. The rain has stopped. Quiet is the night. I miss the storm. I know I will see Jesus there.

The Rolls that Rocked at the Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon NOLA

2011-02-15T10:50:00.000-06:00

I ran the 1/2 marathon in New Orleans last weekend. We had many family members and friends participating. That made it really fun. It was a Rock n Roll series marathon so lots of music and fanfare. It was well organized, fun, great weather and not boring at all. There was lots to look at along the way with wonderful support. Nobody ever really reports on the Expo the day before but it was really great too and I found a new product called Muscle Milk I am really loving.....bought a new pair of SnuggBuds which have a greater sense of base to normal headphones. They also can be used with phones as they have built in microphones and of course I got the hot pink ones with bling. I was skeptical at first cause I have not been able to wear ear buds before due to my small ear canals, but they gave me the option to change out the rubber tip to a small and they worked fine and never fell out. My husband was able to customize his with one small and one medium....really great sound. Plus the woman selling them could sell ice to the Eskimos.

I did not put in the training I needed only reaching about 6 miles total in running, so decided I was going to walk some of the course. As I was getting ready and rolled out of bed at 4:45am, (we had to be there at 6am cause the race started at 7am, a truly undignified time of day), I noticed my belly roll has given new meaning to "YouTube" and possibly new meaning to Rock n Roll.

I knew this race wasn't going to be easy to begin with but with the added weight from the holidays even harder. Also, I trained only in my Five Finger Vibrams, therefore committed to wear them in the race. They look goofy, but I really was determined to prove I could go long distances in them. We had a cab driver who after running many yellow and red lights, dropped us off close to the Convention Center and starting line, but it literally felt like he slowed down and we jumped out. We approached the parking lot area, see massive amounts of people, 20 UPS trucks lined up to take our bag of things we wanted to pick up at the end and LOOOOOOONG lines to the Port-O-Potty. Later we realized there were potties at each Carrole. Note to self, bring tissues for potty break on the course, they ALWAYS, run out. Thankfully I was prepared. I was also informed by one of my daughters who was also running that she doesn't like the word potty, so now stricken from my vocabulary. A cool crisp morning, perfect for running, costumes, elite runners, boas, bells, tutus and more. We saw just about everything you could imagine.....Hey it was Rock n Roll and it was New Orleans. So began the wait in our assigned Carroles for our start.....I was in the last Carrole. I really think they use that word Carrole so as not to offend because it felt more like a corral and we were being herded to our fate of 13.1 miles.

It was a good run/walk. My feet hurt just a little only because of my lack of training, but overall it actually felt better to run than to walk. I knew I had to walk some of the coarse and I am glad I did as it helped in the end. After I soaked my feet in an icy pool of water and it helped tremendously especially the next day. I am really impressed how well my feet and calves held up in the Vibrams. My husband and daughter took the 4-1 approach where they ran 4 mins and walked 1 min and finished just over 2 hours...... I did have to laugh at one point in the last 3 miles at a lighted sign that said, "Caution, Rough Roads ahead". Seriously? Most of the roads we ran were rough....so I had to laugh and think "Here's your sign". It was a flat course as it took you from downtown, to uptown and the garden district, back down to the french quarter and over to mid-city to City Park. I am glad I did it and it may become a tradition race for our family......I finished in 3:29. Not bad for an undertrained overachiever.

It Takes a Village

2011-01-04T11:30:00.000-06:00

The quote of the week I believe was "It takes a village". This expression comes from several sources. Hilary Rodham Clinton wrote a book with this title that focuses on the impact individuals and groups have, for better or worse, on a child's well-being, and advocates a society which meets all of a child's needs, at least according to Wikipedia. Jane Cowen-Fletcher also wrote a book with this title and I found it on Bing and Google. It Takes a Village is also non-profit, tax-exempt organization whose mission is to reduce health and social disparities among people of color in the Denver/Aurora Colorado area. It is also the title of an urban water management and planning commission. It is also an organization that if you work for a nonprofit and need software training, web site services or technology assistance, you have come to the right place at www.ittakesavillage.org . There is even a cookbook. It is also a "traditional" African proverb, a common phrase that is now being used to the point of cliche used by and counted as a favorite saying of the late Ted Kennedy. Some have even said it's origin is Native American, while others contribute it to be Nigerian in "My Soul Looks Back".
What I found is a bunch of different people, a "village" group of people, working together to find answers to where its origins originated on H-Africa Net . Wherever it comes from it is true. It really does take a village sometimes to accomplish something for the good of another. It takes all hands on deck to seize the moment that captures time in a frame. Working shoulder to shoulder, side by side, hand in hand learning grace and mercy along the way. Everyone has a way of doing things and when you mix and mesh together gifts from above the outcome should only bring joy.
This past weekend was New Years. It also was my niece's wedding and I was asked to do her flowers and decorate for the reception. I knew it was going to be a big job. I knew I was going to need help and help is what I got. From my sister's hands to my son in law's, from my husband to my daughters, from grandmothers, aunts and uncles to special friends of the family, to people I have yet to meet who offered houses for us all to stay in while they were out of town. It took all of this and a whole lot more to pull this wedding event off. I knew there were certain things I would have to do on my own, but I also knew I could not have accomplished many of the things I wanted to without "my village". Even though this picture is blurry it captures the essence of this event not uncommon of other events that took place that same evening all over the world. Though it was a common event that took place, it was not the norm for those of us who don't do it every weekend. It took every bit of all the people you see and don't see to pull it off. This photograph taken by one of my daughters captures the energy, the life giving force, the excitement, the blessings to come of this new union and adventure that is about to begin at the end of this reception send off line.
God, Son and Holy Spirit wants to be that village for us too. He wants to go on our adventures with us and be the life giving force as He blesses us when we union with Him. Partnering up with Him is not the end of the line, it is the beginning. Working side by side, shoulder to shoulder in the daily grind and not just in crisis times. My ability to accomplish what I did relied solely on my ability to work in tandem with Him and not independently on my own. At several times while I was decorating I looked up at the huge clocks at either end of the three story lobby at Union Station where the reception was and asked God to multiply my time. I felt like Cinderella having to keep my eye on the clock. He did multiply my time, I got it all done, got dressed and even beat my own family to the church. Miracle! Yes He does exist, He is my village peeps and I couldn't have done it without Him.......or any of the others that gave me their hands, their talents and their time.

Fill My Cup Lord

2010-12-28T00:25:00.000-06:00

I heard an expression several times this evening. How do you fill the cup of another person? What can I do to fill someone's cup. Allowing grace, sacrificing self, giving, encouraging someone in their gift and blessing others perhaps to name a few. I love this expression and hope I will use it often and keep it close to my heart. My cup was filled by sitting around a fire talking, listening, laughing, loving, caring, and just being with other women who are ages 14-57. I craved it and wanted to drinking in more of that moment gift from God. Often times we feel guilty if we allow time like that for ourselves as if we don't deserve it, that we are not worthy of it's privilege, and the uncommonally good feeling we get when we do it makes us feel like maybe we are doing something wrong. Knowing how good this feels I should wish and want this for others to experience the goodness and grace of God. When I sacrifice going and doing for someone else because they really want me to, it fills their cup. Instead of stepping in and taking over, I allow someone else to operate in their gift receiving the blessing their gift and passion brings to others. Encouraging someone to try something new or experience something they never would have had they not had the encouragement overflows the cup. I am tempted sometimes to take matters in my own hands instead of allowing God's plan to unfold forcing the issue which usually leads to sin in me. Instead we must trust God to work out His plan, filling His cup that overflows my cup with joy.
I know of may times my cup has been flowing, overflowing and filled to the rim. Jesus did that for me. The "cup" was the suffering and crucifixion that Christ faced in order to atone for the sins of the world. "You can indeed drink from my cup...."Matt.20:23 When I drink from His cup He fills my cup in an abundant flow of living water that feeds my soul daily. How am I filling His cup? It is a question I will ponder, so that I might fill the cup of Jesus with as little as my faithful heart.

Swans a Swimming

2010-12-17T18:41:00.000-06:00

No this is not a story about the classic 12 days of Christmas' Seven Swans a Swimming. I promise. I can't promise you 5 golden rings if you read this post, that 6 geese will lay you some eggs or that any Lords will do any leaping. What I can hope for is that you will be enlightened and encouraged in some way.
One day coming home from carpool my daughter and I notice on the opposite side of the interstate, like interstate 10 going east, was this very large white bird. He was pacing back and forth looking really lost and afraid. We were headed west and our exit was quite a ways down the road. I had to make a split decision whether I was going to turn around and go help this bird......I decided yes I would.
So we went to our exit and got right back on to the interstate. I was praying the whole way back the bird would not move and still be there when I got back. I see the bird is still there as I pull up, so I park back away from him so he wouldn't run out into the interstate. I realized how stupid this was, but I also saw this bird who looked panicked about what to do and where to go. A swan in the headlights so to speak! I look behind me and wait for a time when there was a break in the 18 wheelers that were flying by and then jumped out of the car. I instructed my daughter to stand behind the car and just motion for people to slow down.
I start walking toward the swan and he actually started walking toward me so I stopped to see what he would do. He stopped. Then he turned around and zzzzzzzoooooooom a big truck went sailing by. He was ok and just stood there. So with a big break in the cars I started clapping and praying and saying "ok swan fly away", as I walked toward him again. He then began to walk away from me, gaining speed more and more. I watched and heard his little webbed feet as they pounded and scratched the pavement that was not made for web feet. As he gained speed he began to gain altitude but he also was wandering left out onto the interstate.

I looked back and pretty far away was a truck with a bed camper in the back. I started really clapping and yelling, "come on swan, come on, faster faster". I could tell as he was trying to gain vertical and he appeared to be tired. We were standing on the backside of a hill, so we were beneath the draft he needed to get up under his wings.....here came the camper truck........Just as he got enough lift and the wind caught his wings he just barely cleared the camper top. He continued gaining altitude as we jumped back in our car and followed him. We exited the next exit (hard to drive btw while you are watching a swan) and saw that he went down on the other side of the interstate where I knew there was a lake...I was guessing but hoping at the same time.....We drove a few yards and pulled over but couldn't see the lake, so we went a little further til we could see a clearing in the trees and saw the water......and the swan. HE FOUND IT! There swimming, resting, drinking, and relieved was this swan.
I took a chance to save this poor bird from well.....you know. It was a lesson for me that taking a chance to help someone else is yes rewarding for them, but the blessing in return far outweighs anything I have ever experienced. Obviously this was not a person, but imagine if it was. I can not tell you why I took an interest in this swan, but I am so glad I did. Just as I am so thankful my Lord Jesus takes an interest in my life and He helps me. He is powerful above all things, He is merciful, and He is King. He stepped out of His own, became man so that He could save us, know what we deal with, help us, guide us and lead us to a life with Him. A life where we can rest, drink from living waters, and live life relieved.
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth and all living things, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles (or swans), the shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint". Is. 40:28-31

That swan is still there and I noticed another has joined him.......like him we are never alone. Amen.

One2One Network & Blissdom 2011

2010-12-17T09:29:00.000-06:00

One2One is not one of those things that your find and forget. It is one of those social media phenomenons that finds you when you post a lot about giving. And most importantly it is one of those networks that really makes sense, works for the benefit of others and never lets go of your heart. I am hoping that through my awareness, my blogging about and coming to a greater understanding of what they do it will get me closer to a greater ability to give back and of course hopeful of winning a trip to Blissdom 2011.
Tis the season for giving that is for sure and many and all charities are calling and getting their last minute requests out to make year ends quota. Tis the season at One2One Network is more than just a season its a lifestyle of giving to help others. It is helping others get in the mindset of giving back all year long and not just seasonally. They "ignite conversation and spread awareness" for others about all different kinds of charities, brands, ways, collaborative efforts, opportunities to achieve and give and getting people connected in ways unlike before.
This past month and a half I was asked again to be an Ambassador for Macy's Department Stores and their new campaign for the season Heart of Haiti items sold in the stores. It was another opportunity to give a gift that gives back. I really enjoy the people I met and got to talk to when I am involved with this sort of thing. And I know whatever I am doing is making a difference in someone's life somewhere in the world. That is the part I love best. With six children I have had limited time to volunteer and give back of my time. Most of my giving back has had to do with their lives and activities. But, I have volunteered at a local Christian Women's Job Corp in Kerr County helping women achieve their goals, heal broken hearts and lead women to the One who knows them the best, Jesus. I have volunteered in my local church singing and leading worship as well as teaching bible study. I am helping to raise money for a local family whose 14 year old daughter has recurring Leukemia, by selling bracelets made by women in the Philippines through Threads of Hope that helps give back twice. One to the family and one back to the women. I also am partnering with Soles4Souls, 2 Minutes to Greatness, and 147 Million with my online tv show called Madre Minutes that airs twice a week on MomTV and Mingle Media TV. I am hoping to raise awareness of these awesome ministries.
This message of giving back may seem trendy to some, but really that is what will make a difference in our self centered world. And really isn't that what God did for us? He gave the gift of His Son, Jesus, as a gift that saves souls and gives back......and keeps on giving. Forever. My hope is yes to possibly win a chance to get to Blissdom, but my greater hope is that more of you will join in with One2One Network and come to a greater understanding of the blessing you receive when you give and the difference it will make in your life and someone elses.

2010-12-13T11:06:00.000-06:00

Visions Dance in Their Heads

2010-12-11T14:49:00.000-06:00

I'm dreaming.......of the one I love. I'm wishing....for my one true love. I am dreaming and wishing I could say this is a picture of my tree......but it's not. It is a picture take a few years ago when we all went to Disney World at Christmas time to meet up with Chandler's basketball team who was playing in a tournament there. We went to the Christmas Choir performance and it was incredible. This was one of the many trees around Disney World and on the stage that night. I just thought it was pretty the way they had it lit like it glows. I think this is how we think our trees are suppose to be......perfect.

Not quite like Disney's but this is the first year I have sort of done a themed tree. I sent my husband out and daughter to get another pre-lit tree which we have to have due to allergies. When they came back it was a much narrower than trees we have had in years past. They thought I was upset it was smaller, but actually I think I felt liberated. I was not sure how we would put all our ornaments on the tree. Then the light went off in my head......I don't have to put them all on I can put on the ones I want to and maybe do a certain color and or themed tree. O my, it was like a deliverance from a mindset that my tree had to look a certain way. And.......and I got it decorated so much faster.....I used white, silver, crystal, gold and a little bit of blue ornaments.....I used some of the decorations I used for my daughters wedding like the white hydrangea, feathers beaded wire glitter adornments and I think it turned out really nice........

This visions of what our tree will look like dance in our heads, the details of Christmas all crammed in like sardines waiting to come to fruition all at once and in about an hour poof its gone and done. It is in the small details that God wants to reside. Love is a gift. His Love is our free gift. He cares so much about our visions and dreams. Yet, if we were to tell others those visions and dreams they may seem silly to them, they may discourage you from persuing them, but when you know that God has put them there, when you give them to Him and ask for His glory to shine through all those dreams ( cause lets be honest here.....He is the One that gives us the visions and dreams to start with) then you know He's got your back, He will be your strength, He will be your guide and your Rock upon whom you may stand when the going gets tough. Life gets hard, but we stand firm and push harder. With God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
This one is for you Lai Lai & Boo......how bout BooLai Unique Boutique

He's Known Me Microscopic

2010-12-08T09:42:00.000-06:00

Planning a birthday party is a big deal in our house. Birthdays are huge and we love them. Full of traditions, presents, food, and maybe even a party. The day you were born is very special. Yes this is a picture of me when I was born. God's Word says in Jeremiah, "I knew you when you were in your mother's womb" and "the hairs on your head are numbered". He knew me when I was microscopic. He knows me that well. He knows me better than I know myself. I surprise myself sometimes with stuff that I do or that comes out of my mouth. I think after, "Gosh did that just happen and did that just come our of my mouth?" Do I want to know that person inside? Who is that person?
God always has a way of redeeming that person inside because Jesus is in there doing a mighty work and shining His light in those dark places that person seems to hide. When I don't allow His light to shine there, or I ignore His calling my name, or think I can slough off His pruning cause I am too busy, then I am sadly mistaken. I think that is when our mistaken identity slips out......"that person" who misses the mark and takes me down a road I never intend or want to go down. I am mis-taken for someone else. I allow myself to be taken. For some reason I cross over, I allow, I ignore, I disregard the opportunity to commune with the Creator of the universe. I fall short of His glory. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind living in His glory. From glory to glory like a hopscotch game never having missed a box or number in the square, hopping from one to the next in perfect rhythm, not stepping on any of the lines, landing on two feet then one foot knowing He will keep my balance, bending and stooping to pick up the prize (Jesus) in one of the squares, not faltering in any way and then when it's time for me to turn around and hop home, He helps me again to make it all the way back to Him.
This is His birthday gift to us every day. We don't have to have a mistaken identity. We don't have to fall short and He wants to be with us, on our side, on our team in this game we call life hopscotching our way back to Him. Even when we falter He is there to get us back on track, back between the lines, with lines redrawn, His gift remaining steadfast as we continue on. This is why He came to set us free from that sinful person that is no gift to us, but more like a disaster waiting in the wings. Why is is so hard for us to receive the gift Jesus brings? He brings the gift of Hope wrapped in swaddling clothes. The fact that He has known me since I was microscopic tells me that when faced with His truth, His love, His character, His Spirit I must have an innate sense of who He is in me. 2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are unfaithful,he remains faithful,for he cannot deny who he is." When we have Jesus living in us and when faced with His truth, He cannot deny Himself in us. It resonates, sounds the alarm, puts up a banner that Jesus is in the house. Hallelujah! Receive His gift.

I want to go to Blissdom Conference in Nashville, TN 2011

2010-11-29T19:37:00.000-06:00

Jesus Never Sleeps

2010-11-27T18:50:00.002-06:00

It hit me today, two days after Thanksgiving how tired I am. Never wanting to miss out on any visit, staying up too late, laughter, shows and football games, girl time and just the busyness of having lots of people home and the maintenance of keeping up. Takes it's toll after a couple days. I would not change it for anything and love every minute of it. NO COMPLAINTS.
As I was cooking and preparing my table scape for all the family to arrive I was trying to stay focused on the timing of everything to cook and and be done at the right time, pay attention to details for decorating to make it feel warm and inviting and just trying to really think about each person who would be coming to my house, 17 all together for dinner. No one would have known if I had left off a detail on the table or a small ingredient somewhere, but the fact that I put it there gives it opportunity to bless. Just as God puts the details in our lives He desires to bless us with them.

It made me realize how hard Jesus works on our behalf. Jesus never sleeps. He is always up doing, praying, working and interceding on our behalf and without any complaints. He pays attention to every detail of our lives. God is so faithful in our little lives, in every detail, through tough exhausting times, through good times, when we are down and out or just sailing along with flying colors; then we realize how big our lives are to God, and we are blessed. He cares about the details as well as the big issues we encounter. He can do anything, He is who He says He is, and can do what He says He can do. Why do we resist the intrusion of the divine to live in the kingdom of self when it never troubles God when we bring our troubles (and joys) to Him; what troubles Him is when we don't. God is proposing and all we have to say is "I do". These little people proverbs that I have heard or thought of myself, speak to me about the heart of God.
Details. How detail do I allow God to get with me? Do I allow Him into every nook and cranny or do I shut Him out as if He doesn't already know those places. So funny how I am sometimes. Some people would not know if I had left off some of the details on my table scape, but putting them out there gives God an opportunity to bless others. No one would have known if I had left out a small ingredient somewhere, but the fact that I put it there gives it opportunity to bless. Just as God puts the details in our lives with great intent and attention to our hearts desires, as He desires to bless us with them. They are put there for a purpose. I feel it is the same when we confess our most intimate of details with God, putting it out there for Him to turn into blessing. I am always amazed at God's timing in my life in all the details that make it work right. The Lord may not show up when you expect Him to, and He will always be on time. I have to pay attention to the details in my life otherwise I could very well miss the blessing God wants to share with me........ "a land that the Lord your God cares for. The eyes of the Lord your God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year". Deut. 11:12.

He cares for us from the beginning to the end and in all that we do. His love is never ending and great is His faithfulness. He made each of us with such great detail it is imperative that we pay attention to the smallest of details when He reveals His plan along the way. Like my time with my family I don't want to miss one second of what God has detailed in His plan for my life. If you notice this year in our sister pic.....Chandler is still serving on the mission field in Thailand (this month) and Kyle, our Marine, had to be out in the desert in California for more training. They were a noticeable missing ingredient in this picture......and in our time together.

Curve ball or no curve ball a baseball pitcher must be precise in every aspect of how he holds the ball in order to achieve the pitch he desires. If he is off or if the batter is not paying attention they both miss. It is when we concentrate, push aside the distractions, envelope ourselves with the minute procedures, keep our eye on the prize and focus intently that we deliver back to God what He plans for blessing and smack life square on for a base hit, double, triple and if we are really blessed...... a home run right into His arms. Hope yours was as great as ours......

I Got a Tattoo

2010-11-22T00:08:00.000-06:00

Ps. 119: 9-15

Not really. It will be interesting, however, to see how many come to the site (right now I am at 3995), how many tatt SEO's come my way with messages on how to get one or remove one and just how many of you come out of curiosity and if I really did get one. Well I did not get one, but know several people who are close to me who have one, are getting one or want one. At first reaction, it is not something I would do for myself or really wish for someone else either. At the same time I am called not to judge. I am called to lead. I am called to pray, to rejoice, to celebrate, to love, to serve and a whole lot more. I also am called to do all these things by His side and with His heart. That is where I fall flat....usually on my face before God and sometimes just flat on my face. It is then that I remember the heart of God. I know "they" saying "it doesn't make you less of a Christian to have a tattoo or get one", (who are "they" by the way?) but at the same time it struck me that I don't need one either to remind me of God's love for me or how much I love God. I don't need one to show others who God is in my life. His Word is written on my heart.
I made this ring out of PMC, precious metal clay. It's my first attempt, it's not perfect, but I really love it. I used a kitchen torch to burn away the clay and I had to put it under the white flame in order for the clay to burn off. I feel like I have been in the white hot flame this week as God has been burning away the chaff in my life. And yet what a perfect heart it creates out of it's imperfect and irregular shape. When I opened my Bible to take this picture I was hoping to place the ring on Ps. 118:8 which some of you know is the verse that is the very center verse of the bible and reads, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." Instead I was focused on the lighting, the ring and the heart and forgot to double check the verse. This is my life as I know it. I forget too often and need God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit there in my heart, double checking, putting my life in just the right light, in just the right place for it to make any sense to God. It has to be by His design, otherwise I would have missed this message all together. As it turns out it this is a much better verse and perfect placement of the ring by God's design for this little message He gave to me that I share with you. If you can read the verse where the ring rests it's Ps. 119: 9-15 which reads, "How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You. Blessed are You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes. With my lips I have declared all the judgments of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, as much as in all riches I will meditate on Your precepts, and contemplate Your ways".
1 Cor.10:31 reads, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God". An important principle (on issues the Bible does not specifically address) if there is room for doubt whether it pleases God, then it is best not to engage in that activity. Rom. 14:23 reminds us that anything that does not come from faith is sin. Our bodies and our souls have been redeemed and belong to God as a temple for the Holy Spirit to dwell. You are not your own, you were bought with a price therefore honor God with your body. What am I learning in this fallen world? That even though there are things that may not please me I am not the one to judge whether it pleases God......
So I don't have to fall flat on my face in despair, or anxiousness or shame. God has put His signature on my heart like a tattoo. He has written my name in the book of life tattooed there for eternity for all the saints to see. So, I guess I do have a tattoo hidden away inside my heart, in the palms of Christ hands, in the countenance on my face, in the walk I choose to walk and in the love I am able to give because He freely gave to me. We're not perfect, but God really loves us. I love you and you love me.......so what else really matters?

Wordless Wednesday Worship

2010-10-13T07:24:00.001-05:00

Revisiting Our Past

2010-10-03T16:06:00.000-05:00

YIKES!

You might think this is about going back to your childhood home or seeing an old friend that takes you down memory lane. No this is a little different. I spoke last week with many other wonderful speakers, teachers, doctors and the like for A Woman Inspired Beauty and Wellness Boot Camp that started Monday Sept. 27th. I spoke on Wednesday about my journey with my family with Homeopathic and alternative methods to take care of yourself and your family. This is like revisiting my past because I don't have to use it much for my family like I used to when they were all at home and little. I don't seem to have to dive into the reference books as often because of the familiarity of the symptoms and remedies. I feel more confident because I have done it so much that I can address what to do without looking it up. I have given some help and advice online, but this conference has made me dig back into these books. When I first started way back when, there was not that much about homeopathic online, but as the Net has expanded so has its resources. This is the way I wish to be about the Word of God. Confident, constantly expanding my knowledge and ready to give an answer.
All this looking back has me looking back into my past experiences, reliving some of the moments and sharing them with others. It is amazing to me how often we refer to our experiences and use them as a point of reference. We take the good from them and use them to help someone else, mold ourselves into what God has created. Through those experiences we share with others and or allow them to change our own lives. Our past experiences, I think, both define us as well as redefine us, all at the same time and all in good ways. Even the bad ones help make us a better person if we allow God to use them. God ultimately defines who we are through Christ Jesus, and in doing so, we identify with Christ's suffering. I must embrace the suffering I sometimes go through in hopes that they will mold, shape, map, define and create in me the person God intended me to become until the day I meet Him face to face. I believe what I learn here is only preparing me for greater works He is preparing for me in heaven. The choices I make, some good and some not so good, define where I have come from, redefine who I am, but don't define who is the I AM. As long as I take His definition and apply it to my life and use them for His purpose, His glory and His plan then I am redefined in His eyes. Philippians 4:8-9 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable----if anything is excellent or praiseworthy----think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-----put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you". If we only focus on the past of either what someone else has done, either to themselves or to us, or what we have done to others or to ourselves, then we miss the point of Grace. Why do we run from Grace? "It's a good thing and we all need it", my pastor proclaims this morning. When we pray to God we expect Him to listen, to stop and listen and come to us, so why are we not returning the favor? Why are we not running to Him as we expect Him to run to us? Do we think God is going to do something to us? In reality, God wants to do something WITH US?

God is doing a work in me. Hallulujah! As I reencounter parts of my past life, I can embrace it. I have seen how far God has taken me from that place. I can be joyful about the progress I have made since then. I refuse to let any past thing define who I am, but at the same time see how God redefines me because of it. 2 Cor. 4: 16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal Glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".

Round the World and Back Again

2010-09-13T00:19:00.000-05:00

When we all plan for a trip we gear up, we plan, we map out, we designate, we communicate and we prepare for the expected and unexpected. Imagine if you can taking everything you need in this backpack......FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! She will sleep in a two man tent, sweat til she thinks she can sweat no more, walk where angels go before, weep with those who weep, she will walk where heaven and earth collide, she will kiss the hands of children bringing God's love where ever she goes, fearfully and wonderfully made is she, and He will give her eyes to see the way He only measures beauty. You are beautiful to me, you are brave, you are strong, you are more than I could ever ask or hope for.

Gearing up for Chandler's departure has been easy thus far until this week when the realization and closeness of the date is actually in view now. The start of her journey is close at hand, like now, which makes for her time here all the more precious. The girls tease me when I use the word "precious", but to be honest we all are so out of tune these days with just how precious our lives are with each other. How delicate the balance is between us and others and the grace it takes to live in this world. I know I could only do it with God's grace cause my grace isn't big enough, but His is infinite. Today, Sept. 13th is Chandler's birthday and she leaves for the Philippines. The Philippine flag will now fly in front of our house until the next country and so on and so on until she is back in the USA again.
When Abraham started his 1500 mile journey of Faith he was fueled by just that, Faith. It is taking Chandler tremendous Faith, God's Faith, to step out into this moth eaten world, the over grown streets and deserted places left to wither and die. "And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country,.....for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God". Heb. 11: 8-10 There will be many times she will go, and not know where she is going, who she will meet or what she will experience. Like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade, who is standing on the ledge trying to get across a huge gorge in between the two cave entrances, he remembers leap from the lions head from his black book of clues as his father lies waiting for the water to heal his wounds saying, "you must take the leap boy, you must believe, you must trust". As he takes that all too familiar step out onto the abyss he says, "with God take that leap of Faith". He does and as we all know he steps out onto a solid rock bridge. A solid bridge he can not see at first until he takes that step, then it is revealed to him......
I think much will be revealed to my sweet Chandler. She is my hero and I love her so much. I am so deeply proud to be her mom and pray for God's protection every step she takes, every place her feet tread, all the mouths she will feed, the people she will embrace, all the lives that will be changed because of her and the lives that will change her forever. She is packed up, prayed up and ready to go. The rest is up to God.
You may follow her along her journey at Adventures in Missions . Thanks for your support both financially and prayerfully.

Yes Abba!

2010-08-28T08:27:00.000-05:00

Our small prayer group at Laity Lodge Women's Retreat Summer 2010

I am not sure I know how to start this blog. For the past two years I have had the privilege of going to the Laity Lodge Women's Retreat where I have met, prayed with and explored the things of God with other women. It was so sweet as some of us from last year reunited again in our small prayer group while welcoming others who were new to the retreat. This year I was the artist in residence and was able to teach some of these ladies a new technique as they taught and showed me the gifts within themselves.

I focus this blog, on the lady on the far left, Carol Bradley, as she is gone now to be with Jesus after a riding accident this week. She loved horses and was a devoted mom who loved her kids. I got to know her through her struggles, her blessings and her challenges as we all shared our lives with one another. Though a brief encounter with each other it has been an encounter that will last through eternity. I know I will see her again. I think that is what makes this easier to bare. She was a quiet demure woman who spoke softly, deliberately, openly, welcoming counsel from those of us who have gone before what she was facing. None of us realizing what she was facing in less than a month.....our very own Savior. My own encounter with her in the art studio and in the river was one of joy and inquisitive expression of how much she loved what we were doing. She marveled at the chance meeting of another who might be one who graced her with whatever God offered through them to her.

I got the email three days ago. Knowing family was flying in, that decisions were being made, so I waited. Today, however, I just knew I had to go and see her. It was the same feeling I got when I was to go and pray for a little boy named Isaiah Sanchez in Denver. Even if I was not allowed in, even if I was too late, I knew it was never too late with God and I had to go. I just had to. So I put aside the cares of the day, devoted them to Carol, to God and to the time I had to be with them both. Even though the appliance man was scheduled, even though dishes were in the sink, even though beds were not made, flowers not watered and cats not fed, I went. I made allowances for those things that we normally think are pressing and put them in God's hands.

I arrived at the hospital not really knowing where to go, never having been to the medical center in San Antonio and trusting God every step of the way. Still receiving calls along the way about weddings, appliances, xcountry meets, bus pick ups and lawyers. Still I made my way to say goodbye to one of God's angels. Just like with Isaiah God gave me a parking place right up front, directed me through asking the right people how I might see her and directing my steps each step of the way. I have to admit my heart was pounding. I was scared. Then, I confronted the door of the SICU......locked. The sign reads, "Vistors 8:30am-12pm, 1:30pm-5pm". I had thirty minutes to wait so, I see a ledge by a window. I sit, I pull out my bible and read Psalm 91 filling in her name whenever I can declaring His Word. Just then the door opens and Robert comes out. He asked if I was waiting to see someone. I told him who I was wanting to pray for and he said follow me. He takes me back to see Carol. I got to meet all of those who had been taking care of her, monitoring her, praying for her, wishing for her, wondering about her, inquiring about her, and requesting on her behalf. A ministry within itself. They allowed me time alone to pray, read scripture to her, tell her thank you, goodbye and to say hello to Jesus for me. The third time I have asked someone to say hi to Him in two years. It doesn't get any easier, but I know they deliver the message. I sat in a corner, watched, listened to cell phones go off with each individual ringer, wondering, amazed and spell bound. Then I asked for a timeline. She was to go to surgery at 2pm where all of her organs would be used locally.....all of them. Tremendous blessing. It was 1:30 so I started to leave thinking her family would be there soon, but something made me ask, "Is her family coming back?" The nurse said, "No they said their goodbyes last night". I was amazed God had allowed this time just for me. Just me, God......and Carol. I asked if it would be alright if I could stay with her till she left. They said fine. Another blessing. So I sat, I prayed, I read, I brushed her hair back, I placed my hand on the bottom of her foot and knew she had already seen our Savior. You see her feet are what drew me to her in the end. At the end of our retreat, after I had help others pack up, cleaned the studio and packed up my supplies, which took like an hour, I headed down the hill to the river. As I entered the river as you have to do to exit the camp there she was, Carol, barefoot standing in the hull of the Frio River, pants rolled up, as someone suggested we all do. She swayed her legs back and forth as her foot skipped over the top of the water. As if feeling it for the first time she said, "Yes Abba". I drove past her, pulled the truck over, took off my shoes and joined her in the water, feeling the fresh feeling she did as the coolness of the Frio ran over the top of our feet, we exchanged one last hug and goodbye. We shared once more the abundance of the retreat, we embraced and vowed to see each other here, there or in the air. Yes Abba, she says, as I went back through my old emails that she responded to of pictures sent by our prayer group leader. She ended with, Yes Abba as Nancy, our bridge builder, said at the retreat.

Today was beyond amazing as I said farewell to a chance meeting that made me realize more how delicate life is, how precious our time together is and how chance is usually, no, always divine. The verses I read to her come from Romans 8:15 "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs....heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory." And in Galatians 4:6 "Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, Abba, Father." We are more than conquerers....we are heirs to the Creator of this universe who orchestrates everything for His divine purpose and plan.

I followed her bed down the hall as people watched her pass. In front of me walked the nurse with the dolly of stacked igloos waiting to bring life to another. Reality. I walked all the way to the elevator where she was going realizing I needed to go a different way to exit, I was not going with her, yet complete in my resolve in why God sent me, I said one last goodbye and told her to have fun in heaven. I found my way surrealistically back to my car, got into my oven baked seat and wept, saying now what?, now I am still here, now I get to drive back.

To drown out tv noise from the other room, I went to my old stand by MWS album Freedom for I knew it was all instrumental, not knowing the second song on the album is titled Carol Ann. As I type, I am listening to over and over (click to listen) Michael W. Smith's song, Carol Ann, having no idea what her middle name is, knowing she is with Him. As life would have it our football game this evening for Sydney's new school was in Mason. Carol was from Mason. Jealous in some ways of where she is, also knowing she would not want to miss in her families activities, but realizing we are all wanting what she now has.....eternity.

Reunited and It Feels So Good

2010-08-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

You remember the lyrics by Peaches and Herb. Well, that is if you listen to 80's music. Or was it 70's, yikes! Now that I have that song stuck in your head, let me share with you my last two weeks. LLYC's slogan "Best Two Weeks" says your camp experience will be....."best two weeks of your life". I would have to beg to differ because what we just did was one of the best two weeks EVER. William and I have come to the conclusion that when we go somewhere we want to go where some if not all our girls are or can join us. It is an amazing phenomenon watching the girls as they reunite. The hugging, spooning, out and out howling, borrowing and fun they all have is more than any entertainment package anyone could put together.
If you have not discovered Vacation Rental by Owner you should. We have experienced it now two or three times and love staying in peoples homes. This place in New Orleans had a salt water pool and was fantastic. We had a dinner party with future in laws, hung out and watched tv, took naps, and the house was close to everywhere, clean, and big enough we could all stay there and never feel on top of each other or the owners who were upstairs......and just had a new 5 week old baby. IT WAS FAB. My point is it just felt good to all be under one roof. It was like old times when everyone lived at home.
God was doing a work in me on my 3000+ mile road trip, if I count when we drove to Raleigh, NC and then the drive home from NOLA. My 4 days of driving across America taught me a lot about my oldest, about myself and about other people we would encounter others. Most everyone you meet is pretty nice if you just smile at them. I never met anyone who did not respond favorably to smiling. It was fascinating for me to see God's handiwork in all the different landscapes. He has such a variety for us to enjoy. All that He has created for our pleasure and enjoyment. So why don't we enjoy it more? Why are we not taking better care of it? Why do we overlook what is right in front of our faces most days? It is highly unlikely I will drive that drive again, but highly likely I will never forget what it looked like.
I fell in love with discovery. In love with falling in love over and over agin as love kept growing more love. What God was helping me with and showing me was the difference in loving and letting go. That I can let go and that is still loving. Hanging on too long with training mode with my adult kids, let's call them what they are, and thinking they wanted to listen was what I discovered most about them and myself. A fine line to walk. I am learning and hoping they will ask for my opinion or advice without my usual piping in as it tells me in Ecc. 5:2 "letting my words be few", or not keeping my seat as it tells me in 1 Tim 2:2 to "lead a quiet and peaceable life". Quiet here literally means "keeping one's seat". O how I love to jump up. Something I have come to realize is that I pipe in, jump up and speak out more times out of loneliness for adult conversation and fellowship. The search for significance, if you please, in conversation with another who affirms me and my ideas. Wanting them to remember me as the Carrie Underwood song goes, "Don't Forget to Remember Me". All they have to do is look in the mirror and they can not forget......there I am in many ways in many faces. He is teaching me to be affirmed in Him, find my source in Him and trust He will always listen even when I am alone. As much as I, we, have worked to train, impart, teach, love, help our children they were teaching me how much I love discovering God more through them. What they were sharing with us and each other opened my eyes to His fruit from the seeds that were planted so long ago. It was so fun to hear them encourage each other, to love each other, to embrace each other as adults, sisters in the family and sisters in Christ. The older ones don't want to be trained anymore......all of our labor is seeing blessed and tastey fruit. Why do you think they call it labor and delivery? We labor and God delivers!

I am seeing a difference in the way they react, respond and receive what I have to say. They have already heard it. Why do I think they haven't? I guess I just miss the engagement. I miss them. I miss us as a one unit family. I think I just slip back into that mode without realizing it. He is teaching me now just to be myself with them, like a friend. They patiently and sweetly hug me, tell me they love me, thank me and do all the things I adore. The thing is, I did not teach them that, He does. I now get to reap the blessings from this fruitful family tree as we will shortly be all over the world. It takes work, hard work, to stay connected the way we were when we were all under one roof. That is what this weekend felt like. The journey getting there, 3000+ miles for some of us was a challenge. Some of us it was 10 hours and for some just a couple blocks, but all the roads led us home together. Home was a vacation rental by owner that did not matter the address cause it was where we felt, heard and saw the heart of God in each one who crossed its threshold. Memories of our time will have to sustain us til once again, wherever that may be, we meet up again, we run home to discover more of what God has uncovered since last we met.

Living Beyond Our Years

2010-08-08T15:44:00.000-05:00

My oldest daughter and I have been on the road now since Tuesday making our way across America. We hit 2000 miles today and are staying with relatives in Alabama. No bad weather til we got here, but feel blessed that is all we have encountered. I decided if I was going to journey across America I was going to do it in style, with massage every step of the way and just enjoy the time spent with her. So we got massage in San Diego, Fort Worth and will again in Jacksonville by the beach. Can't wait! We have seen just about every type of topographical landscape imaginable, going from 68 degrees to 112 degrees heat index, running over road shrapnel tires from 18 wheelers, encountered a water moccasin, laughed with friends, met people who knew people we knew in the middle of nowhere at a Starbucks, listen to the Broad Minded and Dr. Laura on XM, dreamed a little, cried and even revealed a few things to each other that have resulted in healing. I would have to recommend this recipe to anyone who attempts to drive 2000+ miles in four days driving. It is the only way to go. We finally made it and we went 2681 miles. We have four more days til we get to NOLA for our family reunion where we will be for a few days to rekindle, release and fellowship our family ties. We are a unique family and I am so blessed to be a part of it.
All this driving has made me feel as though my life is moving under my feet as fast as the road is moving beneath the car. Though I know it is not the road that is moving, however, after a while it is what if feels like and the car is just sitting still. I guess that is because Interstate 10 and 20 are pretty flat and straight. Our trusty navigation system keeps us going on the right road while God keeps us on the right path in our thoughts and conversations. My daughter is one of my best friends and can tell her anything knowing it will be met with love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and wisdom. She is an amazing person and I am so blessed to have this time with her as she begins her new life in this new place. I feel sometimes I am constantly starting a new frame of mind, a new set of rules, a new direction and a new hope for my life on a daily basis. She will do it more often physically because she is married to a Marine pilot. I feel like I am constantly wanting to be in a new place with God, a new place in my walk and constantly looking for that newness that I once experience as a younger person. I know I am growing old, but I really want to keep my young at heart attitude.
I crave the idea of "living beyond our years", so that what we establish here lives beyond our natural lives and on in our children, their children and their children's children, in to eternity. This idea I got from listening to Anita Renfroe on Broad Minded show on XM. A legacy carried over to the next generation that lives on. The sacrificial love given and steps made to reveal and increase healing will ensure our lives, what we believe, our hope that will be carried on beyond my years. I messed up big time as a new mom discovering my own selfish and self-centered behaviors, not having a clue really what to do with raising a baby. I had, still do in some cases, this need for perfection, and making sure everything was a certain way, need for control and wishful thinking. And if it weren't a certain way then I was a failure as a mom, that it was out of control, that I did not know what I was doing. Well guess what? I really didn't know what I was doing even with those unrealistic ideals. I was living up to an expectation that was so far out of my reach that it ended up coming back to bite me. So I finally could settle on setting the bar high enough to reach, then I would reset it and so on. I think that is why I have this on going fixation on the newness with God. Seeing what's next with God every step and beyond. When I read Jeremiah 29:11 for the first time it was so freeing for me to know and trust that He "knows the plans for me" because they are the plans, "I have for you". The more I try to plan the tighter bound up I became in making sure the plan was going according to my plan, missing the point and forgetting to consider His plan for me. It was all or nothing with no give, no slack and little room for error. Going to Montessori mother baby classes to better equip myself to parent was a great idea, yet somehow I allowed the self in me get the best of me which in turn really wasn't the best of me and was worse for my kids. But I learned, they endured and forgave me so sweetly. Now I get to go on 2000+ mile road trip together because we worked hard to get down the road thus far.
So living beyond what I can naturally see is like driving on this road we have been on. We have our pop up nav system, our map, our co-pilot, water, phones, snacks, sunglasses, craft projects, magazines, books, music and the like. The most important thing we have on this trip is one another. The time we have spent together will live way beyond our years as stories will be told of trips driven, taken and endured across this country, across the world and beyond. Live beyond your years and see where God takes you next. It truly is the greatest adventure.

Are They Live or Are They Memorex

2010-07-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

Most of us that grew up in the 70's & 80's remember the Memorex commercials of Ella Fitzgerald and the high pitched sound that breaks the glass. Well who could tell anyway, I mean it was a commercial. It was marketing. Well as our house has been on the market and we have staged it, fixed fences, cleaned out carports and updated bathrooms there were some things that we did to help with "marketing". Recently my father in law moved in town into an independent living apartment so he could not care for all the plants that were out at his house. Not wanting them to die William brought them home and we have been caring for them. They are lovely and many of them William's mom planted, took care of and kept up before she passed. Well we have window boxes all around under these old metal lever style windows. There are three under our dining room window that are in a ton of shade and before we moved the fence the sprinkler would not hit it and I would forget to water cause it was around the side of the house.......So once the fence was moved I decided it was time to plant something really pretty to look at outside the window........I then began to look at some other flowers around the patio comparing them to some flowers I have that are not real in the house and it is amazing how real they can make flowers now......so you decide. Are they live or are they Memorex.........

You decide.

The Silver Spoon

2010-07-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

Well Spoonie made the trip to our carport just fine. On loan/exchange from a friend...... free storage for free use of Spoonie.....what a deal! See the heart in the window......more on that later. She did not have to travel too far, but boy are we glad she graces our driveway. I have not had much time to spend inside of her galley, but can not wait for our first outing. Spoonie will house what I am calling Mom's Kitchen that will go out and feed the hungry and the needy where ever they may be. She drives well and only has a few minor dents and pokes in her side, but that is what gives her the character she deserves. Wonder where she has been? Who slept inside her at one time? Who now will be blessed by her permission of hope that adorns her insides?
All the comforts of a real kitchen with propane stove and oven, two sinks (better than mine), great counter space, storage, hardwood floors and an eight track player. The retro clock needs a little work along with the player, but that is easily remedied....with maybe a flat sceen? The original pipe is still on the side with wires attached where the antenna once branched out its limbs to catch the latest news that will now hold either a Texas flag or a Mom's Kitchen flag......I haven't decided.

A pretty pale blue adorns her interior like one of those Vegas flame drinks with pretty umbrella. She even has AC.....ahhhhhh who was thinking on that one? A silver heart floats in the window that reads HOPE for that is what she brings to a nation that suffers. There are people in need and Spoonie is ready for the task, none too great or small as she travels down the road bungied together, so flaps don't fly as we puddle down the highway. This a dream come true for me to bless others with His Love, His Grace, and His never ending Mercy that watches over all of us. Some of us just need to stand in the gap for others til they get back on their feet, til they fly again, til they can reach out and extend the same to the next who is down and out. We all are called to do our part. For Spoonie, her time has come to take the lead, help us with Mom's Kitchen, abandon it all for the sake of the call.

As Bonnie Raitt says,"I gotta new thang, the kind that blows my mind. I am leanin' heavy on the throttle. I want to celebrate my new opinon. I aint' the same plain Jane, keepin it bottled up inside. I have been waiting all my life to see things from the other side. No need to pack much, c'mon and ride with me baby for we're headed for the county line. When you really think about it, isn't that what it's suppose to be like. And it sure feels right. We'll say goodbye to all our troubles, let all the neighbors talk, we're gonna have the time of our lives".
Can you just imagine me and a host of others jammin in the kitchen, cooking up a storm, lovin' every minute, sweatin' our rears off and helping someone in need. What more could God ask for? What more could I ask of God to have such a blessed opportunity? It will be a journey. It will be an adventure I am sure. Spoonie will serve us well I am sure of that. These are the best times of our lives.

We will be cruzin soon. If you would like to know how you can help just email me. Can't wait!

Don't know what is down this road, and tomorrow is a mystery.....and that is ok.

The Blog is Up.......and It's Good!

2010-07-18T23:15:00.000-05:00

This past week I have been working with someone I have never met. Someone who only got to know me through my pictures. And who somehow was able to get inside my head and know what I was wanting to express on my blog. That is a gift and finding her through social media truly was a gift because the result of the gift is evident in the appearance of my blog. I am very please with what she was able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. She worked hard explaining to me the processes and held my hand all the way to the end. I was truly blessed and excited to see what she came up with. I must have sent her 100 pictures to look at. She was very gracious, patient and kind. And together we got it done. I hope you enjoy it.

I have done away with my website and am consolidating everything here on my blog. You can now even purchase my wares here through pay pal. I am so excited about being able to offer you these select designs of my jewelry on Madre Designs, and my specialty purses on Hattie Bags. I will mix in some of my repurposed antique finds that I turn into functional art pieces. I hope you will spend some time and look around and enjoy your self while you are here. Please sign up for both Hattie Bags and Madre Designs pages as followers, so that when I update those pages you will be the first to know when I have created something new. Thanks for visiting, tell your friends and let me know what you think. I appreciate your business, compliments and comments.

Kindest regards,

B†

Ode to Jimmy Buffet "When The Coast is Clear" Dinner

2010-07-11T22:47:00.000-05:00

Jimmy Buffet is one of my all time favs......me and millions of other fans. Tonight he did something I could only dream of doing......helping. He held a free concert down at Gulf Shores to help support, encourage and get people to help and come back down to the Gulf. I was so impressed with what he was able to do, I feel so constrained by my ability to do anything that I decided to honor the Gulf coast with my dinner tonight. So Jimmy if you ever read this I wish you could have been here to taste these yummy Gulf shrimp, the creamy Kings Grits and the tastey Fredericksburg, Texas peaches which are over the top this year.

I grilled the shrimp and onion, made the grits that my son in laws family brought us from North Carolina with milk to make them creamy then grilled these golden beauties to perfection topped with Hershey Milk Chocolate and graham cracker crumbs. A sort of peach s'mores without the marshmellow. The graham crackers symbolized the beaches in the Gulf after the song revealed by Jimmy "When the Coast is Clear", the peaches symbolize all the sweet people that live there, and the Hershey chocolate represents the oil that is spilling millions of gallons into the Gulf.

Although whipped cream would have been delightful on top. Just a dallop. I am still hoping this summer or fall at some point I will take Mom's Kitchen over to the Gulf coast and feed all those who are working so hard. Just as a thank you for all they are doing for getting the coast clear. My heart sinks when I see the pictures, when I read the news of the spill and have just felt helpless. I am hoping for grocery store partnership like HEB and any volunteers who want to come with me to feed them in a Airstream kitchen. My idea is to feed the folks there with a good home cooked meal. My small way of saying thanks. Lots of red tape unfortunately with stores and money, but I am keeping the faith. Still collecting hair for the booms and doing what I can in my part of the world. Like Jimmy said....we all have to do our part. Enjoy the visual read. Thanks Jimmy and thank you volunteers that are working so hard for "When the Coast is Clear".Jimmy Buffet

GULF OIL SPILL: HAIR BOOMS

2010-06-28T15:23:00.000-05:00

OK NOW I HAVE REALLY FLIPPED

2010-06-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

Here is my audition for the new Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). If you are so inclined shoot me a vote please. I would appreciate it.
Click here to see Audition for Madre Minutes OWN show.

Thanks for the vote and I'll see you in a minute hopefully on the OWN network. It's a shot in the dark but you never know right. It's one way to get His word out there. Thanks yall.

Happy Father's Day God

2010-06-20T09:22:00.000-05:00

We celebrate Father's Day and all over this country where families honor, distinguish, and recognize father's. In churches, on television, on the radio, in malls and stores, in the newspapers, magazines, and any other social media avenue it can gain exposure the message goes out. We give presents to our dads thanking them for all they do for us sharing our sentiments with them and others to bless them in some way. Our earthly father's are important, especially for women and girls, when establishing that personal relationship that only a father can establish with his child. I admire so much the individualized relationship William has with each one of our six daughters.

He has impacted each one throughout their lives in different ways. His ability to know what each one needs before they ask, to anticipate how he can help them and his ability to micro manage parts of their lives helping them discover independence from us as they mature into adults. He is an amazing father to our girls and God knew what He was doing when He gave William to me and to each of them.

He walks in such a tremendous amount of grace, stability and strength I am always in awe. My reaction usually is just that, a reaction, whereas his is more of a relational perception meant to be nurtured, contemplated and discussed to find the right solution or advice.

Someone asked me today, "What is the key to a good marriage, communication?" I paused and thought for a minute and almost instantly said, "grace". God's Word says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you", and since I believe the Word of God is Truth and I believe Jesus is grace then if I have Jesus I have grace and all the rest will be added. She said,"Love is not the key?" And I said of course you have to have love, but for me when I know Jesus' grace I have love as it is part of all the rest that He freely gives that add up to a great marriage. I don't find that you can compartmentalize Jesus that way thinking there is just one key. He is the key and He is grace. William walks in amazing grace.
This made me think of how would I wish God a Happy Father's Day? How do I every day? Do I think about how blessed I am to be a daughter of the King when I am in crisis and I need Him most? Do I show Him my adoration every day and do I pray to Him just to say I love you, good morning and good night? Am I appreciative of the blessings and gifts He has bestowed on me as the Creator of all living things? Everyone lives with their own convictions and this one hit home with me, that I am lacking not only in my telling William what a great father he is, but also telling God what a great Father He is too! When was the last time you told God, "You're a great father God".......like you would your own father? That is the type of communication and relationship He wants to have with you. Here is what He does for me. He sings over me with delight, He calls me His love, under His mercy He pleads for me to wait. He sees no stain on me and calls me His child. He calls me beautiful. He asks me to cast all my cares at His feet, and tells me to find my rest in Him. He will breath His life inside of me and bears me up on eagles wings hiding me in the shadow of His strength. He restores my soul with quiet waters resting as I am made whole. He calls me His bride, His beloved.
All these things add up to amazing Grace, His Grace that is such the perfect picture of what we hope for in our earthly fathers. William is running a close second........I love sweet Willie. You are an amazing father to our 6 incredible daughters.

It is thanks to you and your mentoring, listening, love, care, nurturing patience, and guidance that has shaped them into the wonderful women they are today.
Happy Father's Day God! Happy Father's Day William!

Living the Moment Sometimes Takes You Far & Wide

2010-06-08T15:58:00.000-05:00

I am blessed to be a part of the http://www.livingmyMoMent.com Summer Blog Tour. As everyone is going about their summer plans my summer has started off different than usual.
As I am on the road again visiting my daughter in New Orleans I sit in her new duplex second story home looking at treetops and rooftops of neighbors wondering who lives there, what are they like, do they care about the same issues I do. For the past three weeks I have been collecting hair. Yes hair. Some people collect miniature spoons, but I am collecting both dog and human hair for the relief efforts in the Gulf. I passed out a flyer in my hometown telling about a website http://www.matteroftrust.org and what salons and pet groomers are doing to help and how to get involved in your community. Since I was making a trip over to NOLA I thought I might hand deliver it myself. So found out there is a woman who works at the Ritz Carlton Spa who is collecting hair and making the hair booms. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would get involved with something like this, but it has taught me a lot of things.
1. Being better to my neighbors is making me a better neighbor. I have met some people I might not have met had I not gotten involved with this project.
2. Collecting hair is really not as bad as it sounds. They wash it first so it really is clean.
3. I feel like I am doing my part to help in some small way and it helps our world that God put us in charge of to take care of. Another company http://wwwomatit.com has teamed up to make the hand mats the volunteers are using to pick up the oil on the beaches. After the hair soaks up the oil it is put into compost with some worms and is made into incredible fertilizer. It goes full circle and that is the part I love the most about it. I as watching a Dawn dishwashing soap commercial the other day and how they use it to clean the animals. Wondered if just dumping a whole bunch of dish soap in the Gulf would be better than the toxic chemicals they are dumping. It would disperse, disperse, disperse and disperse until nothing was left. Could it be that simple?
4. Space Bag, http://www.spacebag.com has offered to help me so packing it down will be a snap. I am hoping they will partner up with me on http://www.momtv.com so I can giveaway their incredible bags. They are familiar with helping and have different relief efforts of their own like Katrina just to name a biggy. My daughter actually used them to pack herself up after her first year of college.
5. If everyone got involved just in their little part of the world what a difference that would make, not just in this disaster, but in general. Getting things going usually starts on a grassroots level and takes off from there to places far and wide. I grabbed onto a moment in time where my passion for something has now taken me to places far and wide. It is exciting, invigorating, encouraging and uplifting to be a part of this movement. I still want to do more. My next thing I feel like God wants me to do is not only deliver hair, but take a fully decked Airstream kitchen I have access to and just go feed these people who are working so hard, but who also may have lost their jobs. Mom's Kitchen to the rescue....or maybe it should be Madre's Kitchen....what do you think?
The link to my pictures about this is on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51592&id=1596499763&ref=pb
Since I am still on the road, am not using my computer and I don't quite have it down how to get those pictures on this blog this may be the easiest way for you to see how I packed them in. I will be filming my drop off of hair and making hair booms and posting them on YouTube and Facebook on Madre Minutes when I return. I hope it will inspire you to get involved in some way to help those in the Gulf who not only are working round the clock, but also who will be losing their livelihoods based on fishing, tourism not to mention the affect it is having on wildlife. We really can make a difference. One hair at a time.
I will be giving away some Space Bags to the first 10 people who comment on this blog.

Hair Boom vs. Conventional Boom Demo

2010-05-30T19:41:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday Worship

2010-05-26T07:53:00.000-05:00

Social Media Revolution

2010-05-13T09:37:00.000-05:00

Home is....Let me see a show of hands!

2010-05-13T00:20:00.000-05:00

I don't know any mom who would not raise her hand if asked if spending time with her kids is the number one gift she could ever receive on mother's day.

Sure sure all the little homemade gifts you get over the years that litter your windowsill are treasures from and for the heart. However if you were to ask for a show of hands I am not sure of any mom who would not raise hers for that gift on Mother's Day. I received that gift this year. It was one of my girls graduation and we all descended upon her now Alma Mater which I find interesting since Mater is latin for mother.

We feasted on crawfish, dined at the finest place in town and just had a ball being together more than anything. When it came time to say goodbye it was Mother's Day, and I had had more like a Mother's Weekend. A glorious one at that. Full of dreams, tears, joys, pondering and a wealth of laughter that will have to last us all til next we gather again. I got exactly what I was hoping for.

Home is......Scent of Heaven

2010-05-06T00:15:00.004-05:00

Flowers add a certain charm to a room. Especially when they are fresh and first come home. They add a touch of color, life and style to any room. I will never forget the first time I saw acres and acres and acres of these lovely beauties. There is something about a sunflower that exudes a happy face or a smile when you first see them. Now try and picture as far as your eye can see to the right and as far as your eye can see to your left, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, stem to stem of nothing but sunflowers. In August if you drive through Kansas on your way to Denver on Interstate 70 that is what you will encounter. And I say it is an encounter because it is a phenomenon beyond comprehension for so many to be growing in one place and being so thankful you had a chance to see them in bloom. "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom. 8:39

Or perhaps you stumble on this hot pink spot on a hike through the Texas woods overlooking the Frio River canyon. A small token of appreciation to our heavenly Father as He provided just a touch of rain as an offering of thanks. The year of this picture we had over 100 days without rain yet His grace was sufficient.

"Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him. See that you go on growing in the Lord, and become strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with joy and thanksgiving for all He has done." Col. 2:7

This mountain sage blooms when rain is eminent within a 24 to 78 hour period of time. This one was so profuse and buzzing with bees I was drawn to its magnitude of color and potency. I had to fill my frame in my camera with how much it filled my mind with its incredible ability to catch my eye. And so, we are to be captured by God's ability to Love us like this without even saying a word and then all of a sudden saying the Word and we are caught.
"No eye has seen,, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what the Lord has prepared, but by His spirit He is revealed; His plans for those who Love Him." 1 Cor. 2:9

Home is......Re-Purposing with Passion

2010-04-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

I love a good estate sale, bargain or garage sale with class. I am talking about a sale that ends all sales, one that is organized, priced and marked well, plenty of room to move around, littered with unusual finds, combined with a cause that will effect many. Those are my favorites. Here is a necklace I made with a Valentine theme full of bits and pieces of old buttons, broaches, charms and beads.

Like this old wash tub now party cooler. We put a silver trash bag in it to line it then fill it with ice for drinks. The hose is handy underneath so when we are done we dump the ice in the bottom and it drains out the hose. I painted mine hot pink with turquoise spots for a women's shop my designs were in to put on the patio for open houses and events we would host.

I can take just about anything and turn it into something useful. I love the competitive nature I get of just trying to do it. Just trying to see what can I do with this to make it better, more useful and functional art. This old iron gate was hanging in a shop in Waco, TX as a room divider and I said, "No it is going to be my chandelier". We had made what we thought was a mistake while remodeling and forgot to tell the electrician we were not using this space for our dining room as intended. So when it changed we could not have something hanging down and needed something flat up against the ceiling. I did not want one of those florescent lights and then I found this. I hand tied all the sockets with copper wire and placed each one, then took it to a lamp shop to have them all piggy tailed together in the middle. I think it turned out great and is such a wonderful conversation piece. And it accomplished what I needed for the area and doesn't look like a mistake at all.

I love a good challenge and my mind seems to zero in on things that most would consider broken, torn or unwanted, but not me give me the remnants. Jeremiah 23:3 says," I will gather the remnant of My flock out of all countries where I have driven them, and bring them back to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase."

Bringing these pieces of junk, stuff, finds, and treasures back to life is basically what God does with my life everyday. He takes the junk, the pieces that are broken and finds the treasures, dusts them off, whispers in my ear that I am worth the effort and brings me back to Him. This piece is and old light fixture turned right side up with candles. Makes a lovely centerpiece. I have even thought about hanging it outside with lower candles, even votive, as an outdoor accent chandelier. I love chandeliers!

This is probably my favorite find turned to function of all times. This $1 medical cabinet was in a garage sale and it had even been hit/bumped by a car in the garage so it had a huge dent in the door. You can not see the door cause it is facing the wall. It sat in my yard for years rusting and looking pretty shabby and we used it with a table cloth over it to hide its ugliness to set things on for parties. Finally I pulled it into the carport and decided to distress it more and paint it to look like leather. I also had this piece of granite sitting in my backyard waiting for its permanent spot. It was the cutout piece from my counter tops where the stove top is so I asked them to round the corners and give it back to me. I created this table that sits now next to our BBQ pit to set things on while we are cooking, use for parties and whatever else. Nobody knows what's on the other side and it looks great. When I wash something off, or polish it up, maybe even faux paint it, or clean it I discover something new about it that I did not see before. For me this is sometimes more thrilling than the actual find. Think about when God reveals Himself to us and we "get it" is like the same kind of ah ha moment for us.

"And it shall come to pass (this is a promise from God) that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance. As the Lord has said, among the remnant whom the Lord calls". Joel 2:32 Ummmmm that would be me, the remnant, He will be calling. Just as I paid for these little broken pieces for my pleasure so has God paid the price with His son to bring us back to Himself declaring us His treasure. God is putting the pieces together creating a masterpiece in all of us.

Home is.....When I wear an Apron

2010-04-21T20:54:00.015-05:00

Home is when I wear an apron. This one is one of my favs cause my kids gave it to me one year for mothers day....I think. It means I am up to my elbows in chopping, cooking, preparing and feeding my family.

In this apron I can create a new dish like this one where I grilled salmon and made up a sauce to go on it. It had yogurt, lemon juice, fresh orange juice, mango, cilantro and marscompone blended in food processor to create this yummy lite sauce. I then added lump crabmeat to the sauce and put it on top of the salmon. I used it again tonight on fresh tuna salad cooked medium rare tossed with sauce, cucumber, sundried tomatos, celery with a side of tortellini. When I have an apron on I feel like I can cook and do anything.
When my house is full I wear my apron more times than not. I enjoy wearing an apron, but it has a pretty savvy side kick.

I usually have a dish towel thrown over my shoulder for quick wipes, substitute hot pads and an occasional popping in towel wars with my kids. That would be my uniform when the pots on the stove are full, the table is set and random people passing through to chat with me as I deliberate over what is next, to lend a hand or to snatch a crumb that is peeking out from under the foil. All in all I know when I have my apron on I am doing something creative.
I have another apron I wear when I am painting. It is really great.
I love my aprons. It is like putting on a uniform and my mind begins to flow as God prepares the stage for good things to come. It means usually lots of work, but the fruit of my labor is so worth the effort. My kids know its serious when I have my apron on, they know I mean business and I'm about to get down to work when I put this simple little piece of cloth around my neck....It says, "chef, cook, retro, mom, grandmother, maid, artist, helper, shop owner and I care about what is underneath to protect it with this apron". God cares about what's underneath as well. He cares about our hearts. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when they day comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand". Eph. 6:13

Catching the Bug

2010-04-18T11:23:00.015-05:00

Well as a follow up to the post from last week and a prelude to Madre Minutes tomorrow wanted to show you the pictures from the VW festival/rally we went to at LBJ Park yesterday. As the bluebonnet season is nearing full strenghth and this may very well be their last week for another full year depending on the rain,
even though they got soaked they camped,

they parked and they displayed what they brought for all the world to see. From colorful tshirts to add to your already collection of vintage tiedyed to bumpers, fenders, doors, car seats and other VW auto parts was all their way of tempting you into thinking you too could refurbish this old classic. It was like catching a fever/bug with all the buzz talk there was going on around us.

I wondered as we sifted our way in dream like fog through alleys, valleys and roads peering into a glimpse of other peoples' worlds, if this is what heaven will be like only more beautiful? Will we wade thru acres of saints sharing their stories with everyone who passes by? I used to ride in one when I was a kid and there is a handle over the glove box that was my steering wheel. The person driving would let me put my hand on hers to shift the gears which made me feel like I was actually driving. I want Jesus to drive my car and be along for the ride of a lifetime. I want Him to ask me to put my hand with His as He might shift gears in my life, always reassuring me that He is still in control. The VW has a distinct sound like the Harley that is all its own. So does God. Am I listening closely for His voice? Do I recognize His, does He recognize mine? The VW brand, shape, look and sound are all universally recognizable. God too is the same yesterday as He is today as He will be to come.

This is how I want to be about Jesus. Totally immersed into knowing about Him, telling others about Him, and putting His glory on display for others to share and see. These people at this festival/rally were passionate, competitive, eager to share, and so excited about their VW's. It convicted me that I should be the same way about God.